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An Interesting Animal

2007-10-18T15:51:00.000-07:00

Life’s an interesting animal. It’s interesting because it exists on so many plains. What do I mean? Think about it. Each day you and I wake up and start living in the second, the moment, and the hour. Our lives are a series of interactions between sleep cycles. The vast majority of the time we see our lives in the now. We live in the moment if you will. However, there are days when we make plans for the future, and days when we look to the past. These are the times when we widen the scope of out thinking and look at our lives as a whole, rather than the sum of its parts.

On a completely different plain exists other people’s perceptions of your life. For example, we all have people in out lives who see us up close and personal (spouses, friends, family, com-workers etc.). However, although they see our lives, they are not living them, they are only watching them. No matter how close someone is to you, they cannot live your life, because they cannot think your thoughts, dream your dream, etc (that’s kind of a big NO DAHHH). But, they can be affected by your life, and their life can affect yours.

On a third plain we see that our lives are truly global. Your life will inevitably affect the course of human events. How you ask? Let’s imagine together.

One afternoon you decided to stop by the grocery store to pick up some Twinkies and beer (don’t knock it till you try it). On the way into the store you reach into your pocket to find your wallet, and accidentally run into a man who is obviously in hurry and not paying attention to his surroundings. Through the process he drops his grocery bag and spills its contents all over the floor. You apologize and move on with your shopping.

Meanwhile the hurried gentlemen gathers his items and starts out the door, only to realize he set down his cell phone when he bent down to pick up his groceries. He returns to the place he last saw it, but it’s not there. Quickly running to the customer service counter he retrieves the phone, which someone had turned in, and sprints to his car. He breaks every traffic law in the book trying to get home in time to drop off the groceries, and then get to the airport in time to catch a flight to L.A. to meet with his long time girlfriend who seems to be having doubts about their relationship; namely his lack of responsibility.

In a panic he drops the groceries in the living room for his roommate to put away, grabs his suitcase, but once again sets down his phone and forgets to pick it up as he runs out the door. He arrives at the airport, but finds that his flight has already boarded and his seat was given to a standby passenger, forcing him to catch the next flight which leaves in 45 minutes. Reaching into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone and call his girlfriend, he finds that his phone is nowhere to be found. This is a problem, because his girlfriend has a new number which he hasn’t memorized yet, and the new number is programmed into this cell phone. He sits down and reasons that his girlfriend will just have to wait for him on the other end.

Two hours later, at the Los Angels airport a beautiful, young, female executive waits for her boyfriend. As an executive for one of the worlds largest oil transportation companies she is not accustom to being kept waiting, or dealing with men who have no concept of responsibility. Her mounting frustration over this relationship is based on the fact that her boyfriend always seems to have an excuse for his failure to follow through. She is ready to call it quits, but she struggles because she really thought that this might be “the one.”

As the plane unloads she realizes that he boy friend is not on it. She calls his cell phone, which of course he doesn’t answer (because it’s sitting on the dinning room table), she tries his home phone, gets no answer, so she walks away for the last time. She’s had enough. In her anger, frustration and hurt she decides to go back to the office and finish off some lingering work. As the V.P. of transportation and logistics she’s responsible to plan the shipping manifests and logistics of huge oil shipments across the mid-Atlantic and beyond. One small screw-up and there are major, major problems.

Sitting at her desk punching in some final numbers, her attention is drawn to his picture. Filled with emotions she loses focus on her work, and with one small key stroke accidentally reroutes an oil tanker. Little does she know that in 36 hours that oil tanker will run a ground in a shallow harbor, in the wrong country. Tens of thousands of gallons of raw oil will fill the harbor and kill a huge amount of natural wildlife.

Our lives affect the world. Granted, our little story is a bit extreme, but you can see how it’s possible for one person to unknowingly have a global impact. It’s actually kind of fun to think about.

Lastly, there is God’s view of our lives. I believe God sees our lives from every vantage point. He lives in the past, in the future, and in the moment. He see’s our lives real-time and as a picture. From his vantage point there are no surprises, because he has already seen it.

Why do I say all of this today? It’s simple. I’m beginning to realize that our lives have meaning. Whether we know it or not our lives are impacting others. Even when we feel at our lowest, even in the midst of depression when we feel worthless, our lives are constantly impacting others. If we show up we impact people, if we isolate we impact people, no matter what we do someone will be touched by our choices. Isn’t that a huge thought?

I’m starting to understand that I need to think about how my life is impacting others. I need to be sensitive to the people around me, and their perceptions of me. I have to ask questions about my choices and weigh the consequences. Even though I will never fully know the impact of my life, I need to own the responsibility I have in it. We all do. We need to think globally. We need to think locally, and we need to think relationally.

What would the world look like if we all started thinking about how our choices affect others? I don’t know. But what I do know is that my choices have hurt people. I’ve begun to think about all of this because in this season of my life, I’m a leader, and as a leader my choices will affect other people’s decisions. It’s a huge responsibility, but one that has to be thought through and acted upon.

Today I start thinking.

Sinner, Saint Combo

2007-10-16T14:15:00.000-07:00

I’m fat. Let’s just get it out there. Because of this fact I’m on the Atkins Diet. For those of you who have never had to diet (I hate you by the way), the Atkins is a diet on which you eat only protein (i.e. beef, chicken, eggs, bacon, cheese etc.). This diet works well for me, because these are the things I eat on a daily basis. You see, in addition to being fat I’m also a meat eater. On the Atkins I’m not allowed to have any carbs (i.e. sugar, bread, rice, etc.), so the meat is plentiful.

This diet is amazingly effective; I lost 14 lbs in my first week. This is my second time on the diet; the first time I lost over 70lbs. Okay so I gained back the majority of it, but that’s not the point. The point is that if I can manage to deprive myself of anything white, then I can loose weight at a rapid rate. It’s amazing, and it’s easy.

However, there are a couple of problem associated with this diet plan. The first problem is that of maintenance. In other words, in order to keep the weight off, one has to commit to living a low carb lifestyle forever. Goodbye Twinkies (damn it!!!). Secondly, the body can have a difficult time processing pure protein. Frankly, taking a dump is like an act of congress. It takes forever and nothing seems to come of it. Lastly, it can result in death. Yeah, that can be a problem. Then again, death is definitely one way to loose weight.

I’m not sure how I manage to find spiritual significants in things such as complicated bowel movements, and bread, But I do. I guess it’s a gift. The point to all of this is simple; I’m beginning to learn that a life that is not balanced is dangerous and can even lead to spiritual death. I’ve been designed to live a balanced life.

Those of you who know me know that I hate the word balance. In fact I have dedicated my life to extremes. I don’t live life in the grays; I function in black or white. I’m one of those people who either choose to do what is right, or I choose to do what’s wrong. I generally choose wrong, but I do so with the full knowledge of the possible consequences. Remember, I don’t do rules (see last blog). As a result, I find myself spiritually emaciated on a regular basis.

Because of all the drama that has been surrounding my life lately; I’ve had to ask some pretty serious questions of myself. Through that process of asking questions, I’ve begun to see a pattern in my life; a pattern that exists in the extremes. I’m either hugging Gods leg like a little child, or I’m in a fist fight at some sleazy bar in Enumclaw (a little hick town about an hour out of Seattle, for our international readers). I’m either kissing the cheek of Christ, or flipping him the bird, there is no middle ground.

What I’m beginning to realize is that the extreme that I am living in is a direct result of what I am taking into my heart. I don’t want to be cliché, but it comes down to relationships. When I am truly seeking to live in relational community with Christ and other believers I tend to do well in my spiritual life. When I isolate from my community (or tribe as we call it at Turning Point Church), I find myself belly up to a bar, or pool table looking for trouble. I enjoy both, but much like the Atkins diet, to much of one or the other sends me into the extreme margins again.

The answer is balance. Unlike most churches, and unlike most Christians, in my community we enjoy the freedoms granted to us by God. However, those freedoms can become a prison if they are not partaken of in balance. I have to learn to live in a state of balance. I need to be surrounded by my community of faith, but I also need some trouble causing time. I need to spend time in the scriptures, but I also need a good cigar and a drink from time to time. To much of anyone of these components and you loose the ability to process, and can even find yourself dying spiritually. There has to be a balance.

I’ve gotten lots of e-mails regarding my last post. Yes, the idea of a pastor sitting a field with a fifth of jack Daniels can be a little disturbing to some. I understand. But I also understand the need for transparency. Folks, I can give total discloser with my readers and over share, I can fane piety, or I can simply be real. I prefer to be real and I believe that being real provides the necessary balance. If you’re looking for sin free pastors, then I am not your man, and Turning Point probably isn’t your church. Granted, I may be a little more transparent that most, but it’s who I am. I share the same struggles, and the same temptations as anyone else. Every day I fight to be the man of God that I know I need to be.

Why do I feel the need to explain all of this? Well, I think it’s important that we attempt to see at the big picture. From time to time I post blogs that are abrasive, real and transparent. I do this because it allows the world to see me as I really am. It allows the people of our community to see that if their faith is placed in me they will be disappointed. And it reminds all of us that God and God alone is worthy of our honor. However, I also believe that I post blogs that are encouraging and testaments to my successes in Christ. I truly strive to provide a balanced picture of my world. With hundreds, if not thousands of readers passing through this blog there will always be someone who is blessed by its content, or offended, either way I’ve done my job. I want you to think. I want you to question your beliefs. I want you to laugh, and I want you to be pissed. Most of all I want you to see the real man behind the words, and understand that he is not God.

If I have offended you with my blogs, please accept my sincerest apologies. However, I will continue to blog in the same fashion as I always have, so you may want to remove me from your reader if you are continually finding the material offensive. I love you and I know you love me, but we will have to agree to disagree on this matter.

Keep the e-mails coming and keep passing the word.

A Fifth of Jack Daniels, My Dog, and Someone Else's Life

2007-10-13T02:36:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are wondering; 6 hours of sleep a week is not enough. This may seem physically impossible, but I assure that it is not. I’ve spent so many hours staring at the ceiling in my room I think I’ve counted every one of those little lumps. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I can’t think straight, all of which are pretty important elements of my life.

Early this morning around 3:30AM I couldn’t take it any longer, so I got up, got dressed and started thinking through what sort of trouble I could get in at that hour of the morning. Unfortunately, in the community where I currently suffer, there are literally no options for trouble causing at 3:30AM, so I resorted to public intoxication. I grabbed my coat, what was left of my Jack Daniels, my dog Jake, and I set out to take a walk. I hate walking, but I don’t mind drinking, so I settled for walking and drinking.

Jake must have been as tired as I was, cause the exuberance with which he normally moves, was seriously diminished. I think this must have been a moment of sheer sacrifice on his part, the cold grass under his feet, and the bite of the early morning frost could not have been as inviting as his favorite blanket, and for that I loved him. Some how I think he knew my soul was in knots, because he stayed right by my side. Jake has never worn a leash so he’s used to freedom, but normally he walks a foot or so off to my right. Tonight, in his own way, rubbing my right leg with each step, he protected me from myself.

As we walked, my mind was filled with a million different thoughts. Countless ideas, memories, and questions spun through my head with in no particular pattern. But, through the mess of thoughts one question kept nagging me, “whose life is this, and how the hell did I get in it?”

Maybe I’m just going a little nuts with all the changes happening in my life, but I can’t help but feel that I’m living someone else’s life. Today I woke up a pastor. That’s right, A PASTOR!!! I’m not a pastor; I have no business being a pastor. I’m a late night drinking, tobacco chewing, flip flop wearing, bar room brawling, old hat wearing, small town living, loose cannon, I’m not a pastor. Everything I know, everything I’ve been, everything I do has had to change. Pastors are held to a higher standard, they are expected to follow rules, and enforce them on others. I don’t follow rules, I hate rules and the only enforcing I do is when someone spills my drink, or insults my mom.
This is not my life; somehow I must have switched lives with that other guy. The guy who lived with his mom till he was 35, the guy who folds his tighty whities, the guy who went to seminary for 10 years and has initials like PhD., MDiv., or ThD. after his name.

My life doesn’t look like this. My life includes a black haired girl, a good truck, a faithful dog, a piece of land, a couple of sons, and freedom. Like Rodney Atkins says in one of his songs, “it’s a man on a tractor with a dog in a field.” My life includes calluses on my hands, dirt under my fingernails, and watching my boys grow into men.

Somewhere along that road I took a turn and I landed here. I landed behind a desk at a church, and in an elementary school soccer field, with a half empty battle of Jack Daniels at 3:30 in the morning. Then it hit me. I feel like I’m living someone else’s life, because I am. I’m living the life of the guy that God wants me to be. At this season in my life, my dreams don’t line up with Gods plan for me and I’m feeling the tension of it. I’m fighting to hold onto what I know, and God is prying my white knuckles from around the flagpole of my desires. I love the church I’m at, and I love the people I serve, but I haven’t yet given into the reality of what God has for me right now.

Today I’m a pastor. Today I have the distinct honor and privilege of helping people learn about and receive the love of their creator. Today I sit in a seat that thousands for men have trained for and would die for. Today I study the scriptures and counsel people. Today I live in the suburbs. Today I follow the rules (sort of). Today I live the life of the man that God sees in me, and not the life I’ve designed.

Today I lay on my back in a field with my dog, looking at the stars, and I wonder what comes next. What comes next for this man I’m learning to be?

ginkworld.net' blog: i am a "gutless grace girlieman"

2007-10-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

This a great post!!!! Check it out

ginkworld.net' blog: i am a "gutless grace girlieman"

Extravagant Love

2007-10-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

This morning, with sleep in my eyes, I headed towards my favorite little coffee stand. Jake (my dog) and I are regulars, and Jake always gets excited when we pull up cause he knows he’s going to get a couple of milk bones. Today as I waited for my coffee I saw something that made me tear up a bit. I’m doing a lot of that lately; there must be a lot of pollen, or dirt in the air, or something.

Just ahead of me an old couple probably in their 70’s or 80’s pulled into a parking stall. I watched as the little old man slowly got out of the car, opened the trunk, and pulled out a wheelchair. He folded the chair into the sitting position and wheeled it to the passenger’s side where he carefully and lovingly helped his beautiful little wife out of the car and into the chair. It was cold out this morning, and the fog was still lifting, so the old man reached into the back seat and grabbed a little knitted blanket and tucked it around her shoulders. As he wheeled her away I watched as he leaned down and gently kissed her on the cheek. As if it was the first kiss of their life together she smiled, leaned into him, put her arm around his neck and hugged him tightly. As they walked off together, I was moved to my core.

As I watched I couldn’t help but think of all the stories those two must share. Stories of young love, country roads and an old Chevrolet, a white wedding, the birth of their first child, the day he went off to war, and the day he came home. How many moments of laughter, have they shared? How many silent glances across a room? How many tears?

People often ask me if I believe is the concept of “soul mates.” They wonder if love exists in the real world like it does in the movies. My answer is yes. Why? Because I see that kind of love extended to me by God. Scripture tells me that real love overcomes, real love gives, real love hopes, and that real love is selfless (1 Corinthians 13). Two people who decide to receive the love of their God and then extend it to each other have the capacity to love more passionately and more extravagantly than any movie ever made.

Love exists in moments. Moments like today when that old man kissed his wife, moments when we choose another over ourselves. I beginning to believe in love again, and today, in that moment, through the love of two old souls, God showed me that he still loves me.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2007-10-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today I’m angry. So angry in fact I’m having a hard time sitting still long enough to write this. But my shrink says I’m supposed to write instead of hitting people, or things. I guess that makes you all my therapy this afternoon. Apparently, fighting is not a socially acceptable form of anger management. Then again I’ve never really been a socially acceptable kinda guy.

In addition to having a tendency to fight, I also learned at a vey young age to compress my emotions to a dangerous level. As a child my Dad used to tell me to “control my emotions.” He didn’t mean that I should force myself not to feel anything, but as a child that’s what I heard. As a result, today I feel very little. Unlike most “normal” people, I only have a couple of primary emotions to serve as my filter. I don’t feel fear like most people, I don’t feel pain like most, and I don’t feel excitement or joy in the same ways you do. I never really understood this until recently and now, thanks to some pretty smart people, I’m finally dealing with it.

You see, I’m attempting to change the way I see the world. I’m trying to relearn how to process things and how to respond when my will comes up against society, and or, Gods. That may sound strange, but I have a “F@#k it” mind set, which means I do what I want, when I want regardless of the consequences. Literally for the first time in my life I’m attempting to follow the rules. You may not understand, but this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Every cell in by body is screaming right now.

What makes this process so hard is that I’m doing it alone. Not in the sense that I don’t have people who care surrounding me, but I’m doing it alone in that the people I want near me through this aren’t around. To be honest I’m beginning to feel emotions that I didn’t know I could feel. Imagine feeling emotions for the first time at age 31. It’s a trip, believe me!

Today I’m angry. Not because I have anything to be angry about, but because I’m hurt and anger is one of the two primary emotions I use to cope. In addition, I’m not using anything to anesthetize the pain, which is a new thing as well.

In Psalm 86:11 David asks God to unite his heart. I’ve never really liked David all that much, because I could never really relate to his melancholy, moody, personality, but that’s beginning to change. These days my prayer is the same. I want God to put my heart back together again. I want to have a heart that is united under his control. The process hurts worse than I anticipated, but I know the end result will be wonderful.

Isn’t it amazing how far from God our heart can get without our knowledge?

The Fathers Song

2007-10-06T01:11:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be cool if life were set to music? You know what I mean, like in the movies. The moment you lean in for that first kiss, the Boston Philharmonic fades in with a beautiful string movement. What if every time you got in your car and rolled down the window, you heard Tom Petty singing, "Free Falling?" You would be a living, breathing episode of “Dawson's Creek.” How cool would that be? Okay, not so cool, Dawson's Creek was pretty lame. Not that I ever watched it. J

Have you ever thought about what the soundtrack to your life would sound like? I know it seems dumb, but it's an interesting thought. Would your life sound like a mixture of the "William Tell Overture" and Incubus? What about a hybrid mix of Bruce Springsteen and Enya? Undoubtedly, each of us would have a unique list of artists on our album, because we're all so beautifully different.

Sometimes I wonder if God sees and hears our lives set to music. Today as I was reading in the book of Revelations it struck me that God is surrounded by a myriad of angels who always seem to be singing. I know it's not a theologically sound idea, but it's kind of a cool one don't you think?

In the book of Zephaniah it says that God sings over us (Zeph 3:14-17). Have you ever thought of that? Did ever occur to you that the creator of the universe sings a song over you like a mother over her child? It's a beautiful thought. A comforting thought.

As God looks at my life today I wonder what that song would sound like. Would it be a song of joy, or a sorrowful melody that brings a tear to His eye? If I had my choice, today's song would be something slow and thoughtful; something that conveyed anticipation and hope, mixed with some loneliness. It would be a song that reminded me of friends and fond memories, some how it would say, "I miss you," or "remember that time when...?"

How about you? What does your life sound like today?

Then and Only Then

2007-10-04T16:30:00.001-07:00

Remember what it felt like to watch your friend fade into nothing through the back window of your dad’s 1976 station wagon? It was on that day you pulled out of town headed to a new city where dad had the new job. How about the day you saw your best friend off to an out of state college? Do you remember how it felt? I do. I remember that sense of loss, the feeling of loneliness, the overwhelming boredom that quickly found its way into my life.

Researches have long said that many, if not most, of our deepest human needs are met through relationships. In other words as humans we need connections to other humans to function properly. I hate that. I know that hate is a strong word, but it’s the best word to describe how I feel about this. I hate that I have to be connected to feel normal. As a matter of fact, scripture makes the same assertion. We are all a part of a body, each of us place a specific part in a divinely appointed economy. If a single part is missing, the whole doesn’t function correctly (1 Corinthians 12).

Recently, I’ve become intimately acquainted with this truth. I’m the type of guy who chooses his friends carefully. The people that I allow into my inner circle, if you will, are people who I have first come to trust. My peeps are people who will speak truth to me, when no one else will. My entire life, I can only remember a half dozen people who were willing to look me in the eye and speak truth. For some reason people in my life are more prone to sweep my behavior under the rug, than call me out. I have a lot of protectors, but very few friends.

In addition to trust, my friends are people who I feel safe with. That may seem strange coming from a guy of my size and with my reputation, but even the most intimidating men are vulnerable at times. Vulnerability is not my gift, but when I am it’s like opening flood gates. In all reality, I can count my friends on one hand. I have thousands of acquaintances, and lots of people who would consider me to be their friend, but there are only five people in my world that I have given the title of “friend.”

This week one of those people was temporarily removed from my circle. I say temporarily, because that’s all I’ll allow it to be (unless of course God says otherwise). Although I know that my friend has not given up on me, I feel a sense of loss. I feel as though a piece of me is missing. Every day I fight the urge to get in my truck and bring them back. It’s like the shepherd who leaves the 99 to find the 1 that is missing. However, in this particular case, the separation is healthy. I hate that it’s healthy, but it is.

You see, sometimes we take what God intended for good and we twist it into something that becomes damaging to our souls. We become so dependent on another person that we lose our dependency on God. People are tangible, they feel with us, dream with us, talk to us, and share experiences with us. God on the other hand, although present at every moment, cannot be seen, heard, or felt in the physical sense. Our relationship with God calls us to live peacefully without the need for physical validation of the relationship. Damn that’s hard! I’m not the co-dependent sort, but invisible relationships are difficult nonetheless.

When a relationship with another person takes the place of our relationship with God, it’s only a matter of time before God presses the pause button. No matter how wonderful or meaningful our human relationships may seem, they should never be allowed to interrupt our relationship with Christ. When we make this mistake one of two things will happen, either God will allow us to wallow in our confusion for a season, or He will intervene until things are back on track between us and Him. I believe the decision he makes is based upon our response to his loving call in our hearts.

God is a jealous lover and the intensity of his passion for us in incommunicable. The relationship he desires for us places him in first place. When we put someone else in first place, he calls out to us. If we fail to respond to his loving call, His righteous jealousy prompts him to seek us out and restore order in our hearts. When things are back in order, then and only then can we be restored to our human relationships.

Today my heart hurts. It hurts because I feel the pain I’ve caused my savior, and it hurts because I miss my friend. My encouragement to all of you is this, love God first. No matter the cost; love God first. I’ll never give up on my relationship with my friend, but today I’ve learned the hard way that God will never give up on me. I find peace in that. Read Psalm 86:11

Pain is Pian is Pain.

2007-09-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

A few years back a man came to me with a question that a professor had presented to him. The question was odd, but made some sense. The question was this; “which hurts more, the death of a loved one or the death of a loved one?” The students were supposed to think about the question and then present an answer to the class. I told the man asking me question that I would think about it and get back to him.

My conclusion was that the professor was presenting a statement regarding the nature of pain. In other words which hurts worse, pain or pain. The question made the statement that when you reach the place of true pain it’s the same in every language. Pain is pain is pain. The way the question was worded was kinda stupid, but the truth behind it is relevant.

Today I find myself in this conundrum. I have two choices before me, both of which are going to cause pain. The decision in and of itself isn’t difficult, but the reality that no matter what my choice is I’m still going to hurt, looms in the back of my mind. Either way it’s time to cowboy up and act.

Have you ever been here? How did you handle it? E-mail me some wise counsel.

Food for Thought

2007-09-24T01:33:00.000-07:00

From one of histories most notorious sinners...

'And so he who would live a Christlike life is he who is perfectly and absolutely himself.... He may be a great poet, or a great man of science: or a young student at a University, ore one who watches sheep upon a moor: or a maker of dramas like Shakespeare, or a thinker about God, like Spinoza; or a child who plays in a garden, or a fisherman who throws his net into the sea. It does not matter what he is, as long as he realizes the perfection of the soul that is within him. All imitations in morals and in life is wrong.....There is no one type of man. There are many perfections as there are imperfect men. And while to the claims of charity a man may yield and yet be free, to the claims of conformity no man may yield and remain free at all.'

from a SOUL OF MAN UNDER SOCIALISM- OSCAR WILDE

Not the Smartest Peach on the Tree

2007-09-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have heard that good old Ahmadinejad (President of Iran the world largest contributor to terror) is coming to New York. That’s right; the man who may very well have helped fund the men who flew planes into the World Trade Center has a seat at the United Nations.

While in New York Mr. Ahmadinejad thought it would be nice to visit Ground Zero and lay a wreath in memory of all the people who died on 9/11. How sweet!!! Well the New York Port Authority and NYPD didn’t like the idea so much and neither did millions of Americans. But, apparently Ahmadinejad is perplexed as to why we are a little sensitive about ground zero. Not the smartest peach on the tree is he?

Read the rest of the story here: http://www.drudgereport.com/flash6.htm

ginkworld.net' blog: a BIG reason

2007-09-19T14:25:00.000-07:00

Thought you might enjoy some of this.

ginkworld.net' blog: a BIG reason

First Cloned Human Embryo..FAKE!

2007-09-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well, once again the world of science proves itself to be less than perfect (go figure). Today the "Drudge Report" is reporting that the reports of the first cloned human embryo are FAKE!!! Check it out here http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=070918162804.uvrmo7xl&show_article=1

Great New Blog

2007-09-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

Hey All,

Well.....our little blog community is growing again. After my months of scilence I lost a lot of readers, but it looks like many of you are finding your way back to read my ignorence. Thank You :)

Hey, I wanted to let ya'll know about a great new blog that I've added to my roll called Hurting Pastors http://blog.hurtingpastors.com/. The bloggers name is Tony and he pastors a church in Texas. I'm enjoying the blogs, thought some of you might find them enjoyable as well. Check it out, and subscribe you might just learn something.

Once again, thanks for supporting my blog and keep those e-mails coming!

Unlearning

2007-09-19T01:29:00.000-07:00

Recently I’ve come to the realization that I have a lot of things I need to unlearn regarding God. That’s right unlearn. My entire life I’ve been pumped full of Christian ideals, methodologies, rules, and old wives tales. The sum of them created a weight so heavy that I finally rebelled and denied the faith. After seven years of drunkenness, women, and worse, I have emerged a man who truly loves God, but absolutely hates religion.

Today I’m on staff at a great church in Seattle, WA (www.lifebites.org) and I’m beginning to unlearn some things. In particular, I’m unlearning my definition of grace. I’m beginning to understand that the Grace of God is not the byproduct of his irritation. Grace isn’t when God’s had enough of me and still lets me live. Grace is so much more than I ever imagined, and because of my new found understanding of grace, I’m beginning to realize how misguided I’ve been on so many fronts.

I’m beginning to understand that Gods grace is unbearable. You know what I mean. It’s in those moments when you know what you deserve and yet it never comes. It’s when you want to punish yourself because you can’t stand the thought of what you’ve done or who you’ve become, and God responds with gentleness and love. It’s that seeming last straw that never seems to break the back of Gods love. It’s the understanding that I stand positionally righteous before God, covered in the blood of Christ.

Bottom line, I drink too much, and smoke too many cigars and yet I know God delights in me. Why? Because for the first time in my life I have been shown grace from a man who has the authority to remove me from my career and ensure that I never work in this town again. I’ve been given grace and unlike guilt, grace makes me want to change. I’ve been yelled at, brought under church discipline, and threatened by the church and each time I repented out of necessity (See Matt 18). But, for the first time in my life I have been shown grace, and just like Paul’s says in Romans 2, the kindness of God has led me to repentance.

My New Plan

2007-09-06T17:24:00.000-07:00

I’ve got an idea. How about if we grow a mega church and then go into every part of the city and shut down existing churches. We’ll just move in and take over. Obviously the ministries that are already serving the community are not ordained by God if our presence completely halts their effectiveness. Granted, we have millions of dollars backing us, which affords us the ability to trade real community ministry for programs that atract church hoppers and marginalized Christian, but that's irrelevant. What really matters is that we propagate our vision in every way possible. God will be on our side, so everyone else should either join us or just struggle until the fade into oblivion.

People will ask us why we are starting a new campus right between three church plants that are struggling to get off the ground, but we’ll just tell them that God is on our side. If we run into a church that we believe will be competition we’ll just offer their pastor a staff position and then take over their building. It’s easy!

Then, once we’ve grown our “church” to the point of international prominence, and we’re known as the fast growing church in the country, we’ll address the fact that the vast majority of our growth is a result of church hoppers, and that our conversion rate is embarrassing. To justify all this we’ll claim that Christians need to be ministered (which of course is true), and that if the existing church were ministering to the people they wouldn’t want switch churches. It’s fool proof.

What do you think?

Heaven Quakes

2007-06-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

Check this out guys and gals, it brought me to tears. Folks this is Christ, this is church, this is real!!!

http://maxgrace.wordpress.com/2007/06/08/heavenquake/

Emerging Past the Emerging

2007-06-10T15:03:00.000-07:00

What would happen if a church were willing to give up its individual identity, building, programs and vocational staff, and simply lived within the communities as the Body? They would still gather together in homes or in rented location from time to time, but the actual body life took place in the market place by running into one another in a business or walking on the street. Friendships were made with business owners, neighbors, city officials and civic groups. Believers intentionally developing community in their neighborhoods by identifying locations throughout the neighborhood that they support and frequent in their day-to-day lives. There is no agenda other than to love people and create a livable community within their neighborhood that leads to shared experiences with those who live there. These relationships soon providing opportunities to share the gospel. The Body, being the Body and enveloping anyone who had a heart for the community at large. Evangelism through community development. Truly organic, almost totally undefined, holistic, life as the Body of Christ as lived out IN the community. In short, the neighborhood becomes the church building, our neighbors are the congregation, and the believers become the BODY.

I’ve heard the saying, “We need to have a church, without walls,” but I’ve never seen anyone do it until recently. I’ve fallen in love with a little community of faith in Downtown Tacoma, WA. This little community doesn’t really define themselves other than calling their gathering “Zoë.” Their model for ministry being in large part what I’ve just described above. Zoë is truly a movement that is emerging past the “emerging church movement.” As I met with the leadership of Zoë this past week I realized that they held a couple of the missing pieces I had been looking for. God had given me a vision for Belltown, but I was missing a couple of key components. Paul Sparks, Mike Ott, and Josh Ott of Zoë helped me see what those pieces were. Although Zoë is designed specifically for Tacoma, and would never attempt to recreate it in Belltown, I’ve seen the light in regards to what “Tapestry” has been called to be.

For several years now I have been struggling to silence a voice in my heart that has been telling me that there is something more for the church than what I have seen. I’ve read the books, taught the classes, and even spoken at workshops on the emergent movement in the church and yet I still had a sense of discontent. The emergent movement is profitable and I respect and admire the men and women who are leading it into the coming years, but I’ve been looking for something different, something that would be “real” by my standards. I’ve been searching for more than a reorganized model of church and my spirit tells me I’ve found it.

I’ll blog more this afternoon and in the days to come, but I’m excited to finally feel as if God as shown me His will, for His Church, that He has given me to shepherd.

Funny Stuff !!! Semi-Truck Take Man

2007-06-07T21:37:00.000-07:00

This is some funny stuff.......

Whole story here: http://www.southbendtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070607/News01/706070318

A 21-year-old man was taken on a wild ride Wednesday afternoon when the wheelchair he was in became attached to the grille of a semi-truck and was taken four miles down a highway at about 50 mph.The man, whose name police did not release, was not injured. The driver was unaware he was pushing the man, according to a news release from the Michigan State Police.Authorities began receiving calls about 4 p.m. that the semi was traveling westbound on Red Arrow Highway, just outside of Paw Paw, with the wheelchair.

Homesick

2007-05-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

From time to time I get really homesick. This past few weeks has been one of those times. I’m so homesick I can barely function. You see I grew up in small town Southern Oregon, where men are men, women are women, and no one has had surgery to change that. Kids play in the street, keys are left in the ignition, and life moves at a slower pace. It’s my preferred mode of doing life.

A couple of times a year I get so homesick I have to make a trip home. I need the air in my lungs and the sound of the river in my ears. This weekend my wife and I are going home and I’m truly excited! It’s like my aunt said to me last night when I called to make arrangements to stay with her, she said, “Joshua, you can take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy.” She’s absolutely right. But, as I’ve been thinking about home I’m reminded of how temporary this life is.

Over the years, as I’ve watched several of my friends die, I’ve begun to realize that in reality I have no home on this planet. If I had my choice, I’d pack up my family and move back to my hometown (and trust me, I’m seriously considering it), but even then I wouldn’t truly be home. Home is where Christ is and I won’t ever be able to find true peace until I arrive in heaven. I wish I could long of heaven like I long for my hometown. I don’t because I’ve never been there. I have no roots in heaven; I have no memories of moon pies, sweet tea, or shooting out streetlights. There are no familiar sights or sounds.

They say home is where the heart is, and that worries me a bit. Why? Because my heart has yet to long for heaven.

A Few To Many Drinks...

2007-05-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve begun to understand something profound. Maybe it won’t hit you in the same way its hit me, but I think it’s worth a little thought. Satan is a tricky little weasel and I’ve bought one of his biggest lies. The lie is that being non-judgmental equals participation. The conduit for this lie is Christian freedoms. Let me explain.

Little by little I’ve been noticing that my generation of believers is beginning to look a lot like the culture. At first I made the mistake of calling this cultural relevance and even propagated it to a certain extent. The assumption was that in order to reach a particular culture it was imperative to immerse oneself in that culture. When the people who function within that cultural context see you are like one of them, then you will have the trust necessary to deliver the message of Christ. The problem is, Satan is smarter than we are.

As we have immersed ourselves in the culture we have failed to realize the subtle deceptions of the evil one. In an attempt to shed the traditional rules of legalistic religion and become more relevant to the culture, we have become almost as deceived as the culture itself. Granted, in most cases we haven’t sunk to the darkest pits of sinful behavior, but we have most defiantly sunk to the depths of un-holy behavior and ideals. We don’t want to judge an unbelieving world and hold them to our Christian standards so we go the opposite direction and adopt their unholy standard, and we call it “relevant” ministry. In reality it’s not relevant at all, it’s a bastardized gospel.

The gospel of Jesus is Christ is nothing if not counter cultural. Christ’s message of love, and salvation although delivered in the context of culture was never inclusive of culture. Christ hung out with some pretty seedy characters, and yet not once do I see him behaving, speaking, or participating in the questionable activities of those characters.

Unlike many of us, Christ never had to put a disclaimer on his message. He never had to say, “I know I’ve had a few to many drinks, but my father really does love you.”

A New Discussion

2007-05-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve been around church planting my entire life. My grandfather was a church planter, my dad is a church planter, my uncle trains church planters, and I’m planting now for the second time. The men in my family are directly responsible for planting literally hundreds of churches worldwide, and I’ve personally watched my father plant numerous churches during my lifetime, all of which are still going strong, and most of which have planted their own churches. Church planting is the only thing I really know how to do. I’ve been bottle-fed church planting since infancy, and it’s become my passion.

Church planters are an interesting breed of men, and pioneer church planters (guys who plant a church with no money, or resources) are plain old disturbed. It’s one thing to take a chunk of money and open a new church in a neighborhood; it’s another thing to “John Wayne” your way into a community and organically begin a new ministry. Although every planter would love to have funds, often times it’s not possible. Regardless, every church planter is faced with individual difficulties that although different in each community, must be answered in every context.

In my opinion, the most widely discussed topic amongst church planters (aside form monetary issues) is church structure. In others words the way in which they have, or plan to “do” church. Some guys are congregational, some elder lead, some decentralized, some house church and the list goes on and on. To make things more difficult, we categorize things even further. Some guys are denominational, some associational, some are in networks, some are autonomous, some call themselves emergent, some deny any classification (still very much a category), and some just stare at the wall. However you look at it, you’re going to fit in someone’s pigeonhole.

After all my years of living with and around church planters the conversation is the same. I wonder if this conversation pleases God? I’m spending a lot of time praying about this matter, because it seems to be so important to so many people. I guess I’m looking for God heart on issue. Does God care how we assemble if our hearts are turned towards him? Does he care if we’re denominationalized, or autonomous? What are the things God really cares about? What does God want to hear being discussed when leaders meet, and is time in discussion as valuable as time in prayer?

I love my peers, and I prayer for each of them by name, regularly. I want to see them succeed in reaching the lost for Christ, encouraging and educating the found, and impacting the culture they minister in. But, I also want to leave the secondary stuff behind and begin to dwell in the unity of our call. All of us have successes and failures. We all have stories of transformation. We have all had our backsides kicked and had to learn to lean on Christ to recover. There is so much wisdom and experience in a room when pastors gather, why do feel the need to discuss ideals?

Maybe I'm missing somehing, but I'm ready for a new discussion.

The New Bible

2007-05-01T21:45:00.000-07:00

Loved ones, things are a change'n. Are we ready?

California Hotels Go Green With Low-Flow Toilets, Solar Lights
By Ari Levy and Carole Zimmer

April 27 (Bloomberg) -- Visitors to the Gaia Napa Valley Hotel and Spa won't find the Gideon Bible in the nightstand drawer. Instead, on the bureau will be a copy of ``An Inconvenient Truth,'' former Vice President Al Gore's book about global warming.

Read the rest of the story here. http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20670001&refer=us&sid=afIESX3LdgnQ

Slavery In America

2007-04-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

Did you know that there are around 27 million people in slavery today? Many of those people are right here in the united states. Human trafficking is something that has been heavy on my heart for quite some time now, and I believe it is something heavy on the heart of our saviour. When we think of human slavery, it's easy to dismiss it as a problem only in the third world, but some experts are saying there could be as many as 2 Million people in slavery in the united states. Most of these people are young women who are forced into the sex trade and 50% are children. My heart breaks over this issue, and I hope you'll take a moment to read the article and take a look at the video I've attached.

I, along with Tapestry (the church I pastor), will be getting heavily involved in this matter and I would encourage you to pray about what you can do.

Short Documentary: http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/Trailer01.aspx

Trailer (Not for sale Campaign): http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/Trailer.aspx

CHILDREN FOR SALE ON CRAIGSLIST
Katherine Chon Executive Director & Co-Founder Polaris Project
http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/TheUnderground-CraigsList.aspx

I'm sure most of us are familiar with Craigslist, an online Web community where people post job opportunities, items for sale, and find activity partners. Over the past years, Craigslist has grown by leaps and bounds and now has Web sites representing over 300 U.S. cities. Many of us have used Craigslist to find a garage sale or buy a used couch.

However, despite its millions of users and various social benefits, there's a dark side of Craigslist that most users don't see. In the "Erotic" section, human traffickers have found Craigslist to be one of the most efficient, effective (and free) ways to post children and women for sale.
With a bit of research, one can realize just how much of a problem this has become. In one recent case, two Chicago women were charged for selling girls as young as 14 years old on Craigslist. The girls were forced to have sex with 10-12 men per day, and the traffickers made tens of thousands of dollars. A Boston man and his niece were charged with plotting a child trafficking operation with teenagers as young as 13 by selling them on Craigslist to predators from Massachusetts to New York. These cases are just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, law enforcement efforts to fight trafficking nationwide are consistently reporting a spike in online Craigslist ads, and how sex trafficking has "moved online" lately.

In Washington, DC, we see an average of 500 of these such Craigslist ads each new day. Yet, it is important to realize that a significant percentage of these ads on Craigslist do not advertise solely "legal escort services" as Craigslist may like to believe. Instead, a considerable percentage of the ads are a thinly veiled guise for one of the many faces of human trafficking that exists here in the United States. Although Craigslist may convince itself that it has created a beneficial online venue for advertising legal escorts, in effect, what it has done is create a fertile ground for traffickers to further their trade in human misery.

Many of the victims of human trafficking that Polaris Project has served have had their pictures posted on Craigslist. Through serving them, we've learned how the pictures on Craigslist hide the pain behind the smile. Maybe Craigslist should ask itself if the marginal benefits of this form of free advertising for the sex trade are worth the far larger human costs.

2007-04-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

Today I write all of you from the airport somewhere near Saint Paul, Minn. It’s been a crazy week. I got home from a three day engagement Saturday night and had just enough time to kiss my wife, get in a fight with her, make up, get some sleep and stop by the office. I flew out early this morning (Monday). I’m on my way to meet with a group of church planters from around the country who are affiliated with the Conservative Baptist Association. We’re meeting at a conference in Orlando. Tough life I know. You may be wondering why I would have anything to do with an association/denomination of churches, since I generally want nothing to do with them, but this situation is a little different.

My dad is the director of church planting for the Rocky Mountain Conservative Baptist Association, based out of Denver Colorado. Although my dad and I are separated by at least one cultural generation, we have some similar views on the role of the church, as well as, similar views on what we believe the direction of the church needs to be in the years to come. My dad has asked me to come to this conference to be a part of a conversation with his church planters about new forms of church planting. I must admit, I’m excited to spend some time around other men who share my passion. Most of these guys have some pretty old school views of the church and I’m there to provide a little bit of shock value.

However, sometimes I feel like an attraction at a circus freak show. You know the bearded lady, the bendable man, the giant, the dwarf, and the progressive church planter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a sought after speaker like some of my peers, I only get 8 or 10 opportunities each year. But, when I get asked to speaking engagements I’m expected to shock people. I’m afraid my ideals have created a bit of a monster.

Today I’m asking the question; is there value in “shock value?”

Only in America

2007-04-22T21:27:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine a world where the Govoner of New York State has to ask permission to have access to a no talent, nobody, wannabe singer? I can. Last nights White House Correspondents Dinner reached new lows. Click the link and read for yourself. Only in America could this nonsense be real. Something is truly, and fully wrong with this picture!

"Sanjaya Malakar, the shy, slender, 17-year-old "American Idol" reject, was at his table when a tall, middle-aged man stopped by to ask for an autograph. The boy's hosts, from People magazine, tried to shoo him away. "We are trying to let him eat," they explained.
The man protested: "But I'm the governor of New York."

read the article here http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/22/AR2007042200353.html

Eight Bucks to Drive in NYC

2007-04-21T00:02:00.000-07:00

Thought this was interesting. Check out the video and tell me what you think. It's an interesting problem.

http://wcbstv.com/video/?id=98806@wcbs.dayport.com

VirginiaTech: Victims Photos

2007-04-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

At the link below you'll find photos of all but one of the Virgina Tech victims. I don't post this to be crude, but because it made it very real to me tonight. It's so easy to write off faces we see on the T.V. as someone elses loved one, but these photos made it seem closer to home some how.

Each photo has a link to a personal bio of each victim. Stop for a moment and read a few of the bios.

http://www.nytimes.com/ref/us/20070418_VICTIMS_GRAPHIC.html

Supreme Court Upholds Partial Birth Abortion Ban

2007-04-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

I don't often express my political views, but here is one I have no problem rejoicing over. Today the Supreme Court upheld the ban on partial birth abortion. Two days ago we lost 32 people to a cold blooded killer, a tragedy not soon forgotten. Yet every day hundreds if not thousands of innocent lives are taken through abortion procedures, with no fan fair. We've lost to may lives this week, this decision saved lives. Read the full article at the link below.

"WASHINGTON (AP) - The Supreme Court's conservative majority handed anti-abortion forces a major victory Wednesday in a decision that bans a controversial abortion procedure and set the stage for further restrictions."

"For the first time since the court established a woman's right to an abortion in 1973, the justices upheld a nationwide ban on a specific abortion method, labeled partial-birth abortion by its opponents."

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070418/D8OJ7CL00.html

Some of Their Names...

2007-04-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Some of the names of those killed at Virginia Tech. Real people, real families, real dreams, real stories.
( From Michael Savages website http://www.homestead.com/prosites-prs/ )

_ Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass., according to his mother, Lynnette Alameddine.
_ Christopher James Bishop, 35, according to Darmstadt University of Technology in Germany, where he helped run an exchange program.
_ Ryan Clark, 22, of Martinez, Ga., biology and English major, according to Columbia County Coroner Vernon Collins.
_ Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor, according to her husband, Jerzy Nowak, the head of the horticulture department at Virginia Tech.
_ Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, killed in his French class, according to his mother, Betty Cueva, of Peru.
_ Kevin Granata, age unknown, engineering science and mechanics professor, according to Ishwar K. Puri, the head of the engineering science and mechanics department.
_ Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., a sophomore majoring in international studies and French, according to Minisink Valley, N.Y., school officials who spoke with Hammaren's family.
_ Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, of Bellefonte, Pa., according to Penn State University, his alma mater and his father's employer.
_ Rachael Hill, 18, of Glen Allen, Va., according to her father, Guy Hill.
_ Emily Jane Hilscher, a 19-year-old freshman from Woodville, according to Rappahannock County Administrator John W. McCarthy, a family friend.
_ Jarrett L. Lane, according to Riffe's Funeral Service Inc. in Narrows, Va.
_ Matthew J. La Porte, 20, a freshman from Dumont, N.J., according to Dumont Police Chief Brian Venezio.
_ Liviu Librescu, 76, engineering science and mathematics lecturer, according to Puri.
_ G.V. Loganathan, 51, civil and environmental engineering professor, according to his brother G.V. Palanivel.
_ Daniel O'Neil, 22, of Rhode Island, according to close friend Steve Craveiro and according to Eric Cardenas of Connecticut College, where O'Neil's father, Bill, is director of major gifts.
_ Juan Ramon Ortiz, a 26-year-old graduate student in engineering from Bayamon, Puerto Rico, according to his wife, Liselle Vega Cortes.
_ Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va. according to her aunt, Karen Kuppinger, of Rochester, N.Y.
_ Reema J. Samaha, 18, a freshman from Centreville, Va., according to her family.

Virginia Tech: Tonight We Pray.

2007-04-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

My heart breaks tonight for the families of those who lost their lives at Virginia Tech this morning http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,266421,00.html . Thirty-plus people killed in a senseless act of violence. I have no doubt that there are many people asking questions tonight about the love of God, or what may seem like the lack there of. Tonight my prayers are for them. The moms, dads, brothers, sister, husbands, wives, and friends of those who lost their lives.

I pray that those touched by this horrible act of volitional sin, will find safe harbor beneath the wings of a God who truly loves them. That the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard their hearts and minds. May they experience the comfort that can only come from the God who knows the pain of loosing a son.

Folks, for all of you who read this blog, lets not forget to pray! Don’t be one of those who turn off the T.V. and forget.

We’ll talk more about today’s events in the days to come, but tonight we pray.

Seminar of Strange Truths

2007-04-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

This morning I sat through a management seminar that would normally have bored me to the point of nausea. We were presented with the typical psycho-babble one might expect from this sort of thing, you know, the whole higher-self, find your inner animal, dance naked around a fire sort of stuff. To keep it exciting we were asked to do the whole arrow in the neck exercise.

For those of you lucky enough to have avoided these sorts of get togethers, the arrow in the neck exercise is actually pretty cool. The instructor makes you sign a release form to build the drama (and just incase your neck is punctured and you bleed out on the linoleum floor), and then tells you that there “really” is a chance of death during this “fun” little example of trust. Once you’ve signed the release you’re handed an arrow, a real arrow mind you, and you’re instructed to place the sharp end of the arrow right in the center of your jugular notch. The instructor then places his hand on the end of the arrow creating enough pressure to hold the arrow in place while you lean against it.

With arms spread out to your sides, you’re instructed to walk toward the instructor with one fluid movement. Um…….okay!!! I have an arrow in my neck and you want me to put pressure on the tip of said arrow and impale myself so you can prove a point about team trust. Well……of course I tried it. To be honest I was more than a little anxious. Being careful to follow all the instructions I took the step into the arrow. Just when I thought it would puncture my skin it snapped into a million pieces. AWESOME!!!! I was stoked I proved to the class I had some balls and I got a little adrenalin boost while I was at it.

I wonder why I’m okay letting a perfect stranger put a tool designed to kill very large animals at the center of my throat, but I’m afraid to follow the simplest command of God.

The first of many questions raised in the Seminar of Strange Truths…..more to come

Emerging Question: Part Two

2007-04-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

As I’ve conversed with my emergent peers around the country I’ve realized something. Those who stand for the truth of scripture have ministries that have exceeded their wildest imaginations, and those who have not seem to have struggling ministries. It’s amazing to me how much smack I hear voiced by “emerging” pastors about “emerging” pastors. In fact I’m slung some smack myself.

Seattle is home to several men who have developed national or even international voices on matters pertaining to the Christian Faith. Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church (www.marshillchurch.org) and Ken Hutcheson of Antioch Bible Church (www.abchurch.org) are two men whom you may have heard of. Both of these men are pastors of what we call in the emerging movement “mega-churches.” The idea of a mega-church to an emerging leader is something that needs to be publicly condemned, but is privately desired. The term “mega-church” is second only to the f-word on the swear scale in the emergent community.

Mark and Ken are frequently the topic of conversation in Seattle, and the majority of the time the conversation isn’t positive. Why? Well, in the eyes of many emergent leaders they have “sold out.” I’m not sure I know what that means, but that’s the word on the street.

However, and that’s a big however, both Mark and Ken have take outspoken stands on controversial matters such as homosexuality and male leadership in the church. They are standing firm on the pure word of God. They haven’t watered down the gospel, or flinched in the face of adversity, they have spoken truth in a world that hates truth. I’m not sure I fully agree with their ministry strategies, but I have nothing but respect for their courage and intestinal fortitude.

The question must be asked; why is it that men who speak truth without compromise have ministries affecting the world, and those who seek to compromise with the culture do not? Have they sold out to achieve international notoriety, or have the received international voices because they have refused to sell out?

This is a question I want an answer to.

Emerging Question

2007-04-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

This morning, I had the pleasure of meeting with a group of pastors from several different “emerging” churches here in the Seattle area. A couple of the guys have national voices, and or, have been published so it was interesting to hear a bit about their views on God, church and culture. What I’m about to say has nothing to do with today’s meeting. The men present at this meeting were all brilliant, amazing men of God who I respect tremendously. However, in the presence of these men I couldn’t help but feel a little disconnected from this movement we call “emerging churches.”

First off, although Tapestry (our church in downtown Seattle) would be by definition an emerging ministry, I don’t really understand what the hell the term means. I get the idea behind it all, and I understand the definition, but I don’t see what all the hype is about. I’ve read the books, lots of them, I’ve sat in the conferences, and I’ve even spoken on the issue to a small extent, but I just don’t see why it’s become so “cool” to be an “emerging” church.

Within the emerging movement I see guys with ideals. I see guys with passion. I see guys who seem to know and love God. I see pride. I see arrogance. I see faith. I see hope in the future. I see pride. Have I said that already? We all want to be different, but I fear our desire for uniqueness isn’t always rooted in a desire to reach souls. We package our models for ministry in “emerging” wrappers, but the motives behind the wrappers seem to be the same as those who have gone before us.

I guess in my limited understanding on the matter I’m a little disappointed that the emerging church isn’t a pure movement dedicated to moving past selfish desires for large congregations (even if decentralized), speaking engagements and international notoriety. Our churches look different, we swear a little more, but I don’t know if the differences go much deeper.

We need to emerge past the emerging.

Once Again

2007-04-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

My life has a tendency to be cyclical in nature. In other words, I always seem to come around to the same places. The most frustrating thing about this never ending cycle is that each time I arrive at the same place I’ve already been I realize that the lessons I thought I learned the previous time around, I in fact hadn’t learned at all.

Tapestry (the church I’m planting in Belltown) is doing great. We’ve set everything up correctly and done a ton of work to ensure that we have the foundation necessary to be a long-term ministry and not another flash in the pan. We’ve successfully completed the first phase of our plan on time and we’re now merging into phase two. However phase two is were churches either take off, or die.

I’ve been here before. I tremble at the thought of phase two, because phase two requires FAITH!!! Once again I find myself in the position of realizing that up to this point everything that has been done for this project, has been directed by me. In other words it was the busy work of setting up the website (www.tapestrybelltown.com), setting up the board of directors, writing up the bylaws and constitution, creating a phased model etc. I always had something to do, something that could occupy my time and feed my need for hope in the vision of Tapestry. I didn’t need God help.

Today phase two looms on the horizon and I realize there is nothing I can do. The busy work is done. I stand with my hands in my pockets wondering if it’s going to hold together. Wondering if the time I neglected to spend with God will bite me in the ass. Wondering if God plans to get onboard with my plan (ouch). Have I heard Gods voice, or have I been acting on my own volition? Only time will tell. From this point on I have to volunteer control and spend a lot of time on my knees.

The cycle has once again been completed, and once again I see how many thing I took into my own hands. When will I learn?

For the Record

2007-03-02T15:03:00.000-08:00

Recently, I’ve spent a lot of time talking with people and answering e-mail about the war in Iraq. I’m not sure why the interest on this matter seems to have peeked in the last couple of weeks, but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to remain neutral. Although I will not express my political views on the matter, I would like to say a couple things for the record.

1. I love, support, and will stand for our troops, until the day I die. I believe our troops need our support on every front, especially when on soil. We need to stop the Bull Sh%t the demoralizes our troops!!! Our troops have a job to do, and we need to empower them to do their job, and stay alive.

2. Our enemy’s agenda is deeply rooted in religious conviction, convictions that will not be bombed out of them. They are not afraid to die for their faith, and the West represents everything they hate. We can, and probably will win this war from a military perspective, but it’s impossible to silence the conviction of a man faith unless you change his heart. Which means this war will not solve the problem. This is not to say that the war is, or is not, warranted, it’s simply a statement of my opinion.

3. We cannot trust the media, they all have an agenda.

What are your thoughts?

Don't F&@k With the Art!

2007-02-25T12:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I spent the better part of the afternoon walking, and people watching at Seattle Art Museums new Olympic Structure Park. The park sits at the Northwest corner of Belltown right on the water. The backdrop is the natural beauty of the snow capped Olympic mountains, and the magnificent Puget Sound. The park is filled with modern works of art within the context of several distinct Eco-systems. The gravel paths wind there way through little groves of trees, beautifully manicured lawns, and man made cement structures. The angles in the park make it feel as though it wants to take flight. Sharp corners, and distinct lines create a strange sense of stationary motion. The entire space is truly impressive.

As I walked along the path, I couldn't help but notice that every where I looked there was a security camera, or security guard. The cameras are hidden enough not to be obtrusive, but obtrusive enough to be noticed. Every so often as I passed a security guard I could hear the radios squawk to life with warnings to watch this or that person as they approached on of the mammoth structures, or walked outside a designated area. The unspoken message was clear; "don't F__K with the art!!!

I stopped and sat down for awhile and I was amazed by the spectacular view! Yet, as I looked out across the Puget Sound to see the clouds quickly moving across the snow capped Olympic Mountains, I was struck by the irony of the scene. God's art was so breath taking, that the man made structures were almost unnoticeable. Man greatest attempts to create something beautiful were dwarfed by the magnitude of God's creation. All of this art, beautiful as it may have been, was nothing, and yet they had gone to such drastic extremes to protect it.

As I pondered all of this I couldn't help but notice that the Puget Sound was littered with shipping vessels floating lifeless in the bay. Several of them surrounded by yellow barriers to prevent oil and fuel leakage. Jumbo jets on approach to Sea-Tac dotted the sky, undoubtedly emitting toxic fumes into the atmosphere. The sound of cars was constant as they raced by on the roads surrounding the park, and as I turned I noticed the horizon blotted out by high-rise buildings. The beauty of God's artistic creation was littered by mans attempts to be noticed.

In that moment, surrounded by security cameras, I couldn't help but wonder if God ever wants to scream, "QUIT F#@KING WITH THE ART!!!"

I know, God doesn't speak like that, But I sure wanted to!

Our Apology

2007-02-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

To be Run in Seattle's local papers from Tapestry Belltown. What do you think? (The grammer will be corrected)

Our Apology

We believe we owe the world an apology. It may seem strange, and some will assume we have an agenda, but we say with pure motives, we’re sorry. We’re sorry for all of the things that have been done in the name of Christianity. The wars, the genocide, and the domination of nations, and peoples. We’re sorry that we have spoken a message of of peace and love, but we have not lived the words we have preached. Our hypocrisy is inexcusable. We’re sorry for attempting to use fear as a means to convert, and making false promises to recruit. We’re sorry for the hate speech, and the in tolerance that we have inflicted on the world. Our words are the result of our fear, and it’s wrong. We’re sorry for superimposing our moral standard on the world, and assuming that we have all the answers. We apologize for our judgmental and elitist behavior, which has lead us to choose separation over love. We’re sorry for the horrible, unspeakable atrocities that have been done to the innocent at the hands of those claiming to be holy. The abuse and manipulation of the young will be our shame forever.

We have failed you and we humbly request your forgiveness. Our message is one of faith, hope, and love, but we have failed to live our faith, share our hope, and offer our love. We would like to make a commitment to all those who have reached this message. We at Tapestry are truly committed to not making the same mistakes our forefathers made. We are committed to living the faith that we preach, sharing our hope and offering the same love that has been extended to us by a God that is defined by love. We are hypocrites, and we always will be, because we are human. But we’re committed to change, and we’re committed to you.

Respectfully,

Tapestry Belltown

An interesting couple of weeks

2007-01-30T07:06:00.000-08:00

Greetings All,

Okay, a bunch of you have e-mailed me about my silence the past couple of weeks, and I apologize. Here's the story.

My parents came into town two weeks ago and I ended up spending a lot of time with them because I don't get to see them very often. While they were here I started to feel pretty sick. That feeling soon turned into strep throat. Soon after I developed a sinus infection on top of the Strep. Just as I was beginning to recover from the whole mess, I had a couple of speaking engagements, right in a row which required a lot of study time. Sunday morning I woke up and my throat was hurting again even after a week of antibiotics. I returned to the Doctor to find that I now have bronchitis!!! I"M A MESS!

Anyway, being the intelligent man that I am, I attempted to continue working through all of my issues. Needless to say, this was a bad idea! Now....I'm even sicker.

Long story short, I'll get back to blogging A.S.A.P.

The Conversation: Part Two

2007-01-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

On small groups:

Rachel: “From the time I was 11 or 12 I have been involved with two different branches of what one might consider a “mainstream” church. It follows the common liturgy and has regular small groups, but it also encourages genuine fellowship, both with God and each other. My impression of small groups (and still is) that they are not at all a “church growing” tool, but a more in depth and personal form of fellowship aside from the main congregation. I feel that small groups remind us that we are a family and can be very powerful tools to effectively prepare the church to reach out.”

Joshua (Me): I believe in small groups. I too have been in the mainstream church for most of my life (since the sinful age of four). I’m a third generation pastor, and my family (Dad, uncle, brother, grandfather) has always been at the forefront of the mainstream movement in some regard. I’ve led small groups, helped build small group ministries, and attended countless groups, so please understand I truly have a heart for small group ministry.

Clearly there are thousands of amazing small groups just like yours across the country which are functioning wonderfully. I believe this is due in large part to the hearts of those involved in the groups, and has almost nothing to do with the strategy of the institution. However, it is very difficult to separate the two these days.

In my years of ministry there are few things which have remained the same, but one of the things that has remained consistent is this; small groups grow churches, and the primary purpose of small group ministry is church growth. One would be hard pressed to find a small group strategy launched by a church institution which was not first intended to grow the institution. Although small group ministries are presented to the congregation as fellowship gatherings, almost without fail, they are implemented by the leadership for growth. I can honestly say I have never been involved with a small group ministry that was launched for any other purpose. Fellowship, although a valued result of small groups, is a secondary concern to the institution.

I believe small groups are beneficial because they foster true interaction and relationship development. I believe small groups are great for the encouragement of the saints and I believe small groups are an essential part of spiritual growth. But, my heart is broken by the intentions with which they are frequently established, and at its roots this is where I see the problem.

What is the purpose of a small group? Why are small groups seen as supplemental to the “main gathering?’ I can’t help but wonder why the institution has to present small groups as secondary to the main service. Are small groups not “church?” In my opinion, small groups are presented as supplemental because they can be dangerous to the bottom line of the institution if not handled correctly. If small groups are presented as legitimate church services, countless people would never attend the big service. Why? Small groups are places where the church has the opportunity to be the church. They are intimate. They encourage interaction with the text, they allow for questions. Friendships are made, and lives are changed. Bottom line, it’s biblical and God blesses biblical. I’m not saying it’s the only way to do things, or that we should do away with big services, but doesn’t it seem that the paradigm is flipped around some how? Shouldn’t the big production services be designed to funnel people into small groups? There is a place for large Sunday morning gatherings, but in my opinion they should be secondary.

Unfortunately, if the institution allows the small groups to be seen as “church” the need for big organizations goes away. The results would be profound. Subsequently, small groups are billed as supplemental gatherings that help to keep people going through the week until the return to “CHURCH.”

The Conversation: Part One

2007-01-17T01:19:00.000-08:00

I’ve started a conversation with a new friend on the “Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality” series I posted. I thought some of you might be interested in the dialogue. My new friend has some great insights into the subject and the conversation is thought provoking. Let me know what you think on the subject.

On the post-modern problem:

My Friend: “I also understand your position of starting a place like Tapestry Belltown, because many are repelled all together from the mainstream church. Sometimes the best way is to start over and lead by example…but I also get frustrated at the post-modern views that the western church has it all wrong. I think both sides have something to bring to the table.”

Joshua (Me): Although it may be hard to believe, I mostly agree with you on this issue! I do not advocate separating from the “mainstream church” in every situation, and I’m not a fan of the post-modern movement. In my opinion, the post-modern movement is nothing more than mainstream Christianity with a paint job. They paint the walls neutral tones, offer emo worship, light a few candle, curse a bit more, and use real wine for communion then call themselves post-modern. In addition, I don’t agree with, or appreciate their desire to through out the tradition church. However, I do believe the that the western church has lost sight of Christ’s heart.

I have an uncle who works with, and is part of the “who’s who” Christian world. He circumvents the globe multiple times a year, and consults the church at large. I only say this because he is a trusted voice in my life and in the lives of some very influence people in the Christian community whom I respect. Much of his research sits on the desks of pastors worldwide. I’ve had many conversations with my uncle and many like him about this very issue. The common theme of conversation is this; the western church is completely lost. The international Christian community is now targeting the west for missions. The church is growing at staggering rates worldwide, but is drastically declining in the west. We’re opening a couple thousand churches a year in the U.S., but we’re closing several thousand. The decline is widely attributed to poor leadership, and apathetic believers. Christians in the west are so tied to their institutions; they’ve lost sight of being the church and reaching the world surrounding them. People are blindly following leaders who are leading them to nothing.

I will never separate from the “mainstream” church, but if I have to separate from the institution to accomplish the work of the kingdom, I will. Sadly, after countless conversations with countless pastors, I don’t see much hope for the institution. George Barna recently said that he believes the majority of mainstream church institutions will close their doors in the next 15 to 20 years. I don’t know if this is true or not, but what I do know is that the numbers continue to point in this direction.

To be honest, in my opinion, there is no such thing as the mainstream church. If we were to accurately describe the situation, we would call it the “Institution of the past.” The church is simply the church. Some of the church is wrapped up in the institution, and part of it is not. I love the church, but I don’t believe the institution can be retrofitted to be relevant again. Subsequently, I think the institution will soon be replaced, and many professing Christians will be lost, because they have no home.

If the church that is wrapped up in the institution is to be saved, it will take people who are willing to remain in the institution to be voices of change. The institution will go, but the church can be saved. In fact, much of my vision for Tapestry is rooted in this belief.

Tapestry is not an attempt to start a post-modern church, it’s not about being “emerging,” it’s not about being “progressive,” or anything of the sort. Tapestry is a result of exegeting an urban culture and finding ways to reach that culture for Christ. Seattle is the most unchurched city in the country, has the highest homosexual population pre-capita in the U.S, and is home to more dogs than children or Christians. In addition Seattle is less than 7% “churched, and the Belltown district is even worse. Belltown is Sodom and we have to find new ways to present Christ in one of the only remaining pre-Christian cultures in the country. The church has never taken root in this city and Belltown spits out church planters like a trucker sucking on sunflower seeds. Because of the extreme nature of our little sub-culture we are in a prime position to help educate the church within the institution of what is headed their direction.

Tapestry is designed to be a “Trusted voice of spiritual and cultural instruction…” We are about taking Christ to an extreme culture, and educating the church on how to do the same. What happens in the urban core will ultimately end up in the suburbs and if the institutionalized church is to survive they will have to adapt to meet the needs of a culture that is headed their direction. If they don’t…….their dead.

My Problem

2007-01-12T20:51:00.000-08:00

I seem to have bloggers block!!! What's the deal?

Beauty and the Geek

2007-01-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

I’m about to admit something I’m not proud of. You ready for this? Okay, here you go; I am officially of a fan of Aston Kutchers show “Beauty and the Geek.” There, I said it; I’m out of the closet!!!

If you haven’t seen the show, try to catch an episode sometime. It’s a reality show that has focuses on 16 people living in a house. Eight of the people are beautiful women; the other eight are academically inclined men. Okay, honestly they’re the absolute perfect pictures of geeks. These guys are so far gone it’s not even funny! The show forces them into situations in which they have to challenge the boundaries of their comfort zones. The geeks are faced with social issues, and the women with academic. It’s really quite entertaining.

I mention the show because the other day they showed a re-run of the final episode from last season. The final two couples where interviewed and given the opportunity to share what they had learned. Every one of them said the same thing in one form or the other. The common thought was that we can learn something about ourselves from anyone. For some reason this has stuck in my head this past week and I’ve been thinking it through a bit.

I’m a firm believer in the fact that God has purposely created each of us unique. We’re like living works of art, and although some of us look similar, much like a painting, we hold our own unique qualities that set us a part from everyone else. Billions and billions of unique paintings living life every day knowingly and unknowingly affecting each others. Each of us has had different experiences that have shaped us into beautiful expressions of God’s creativity. It’s a beautiful thing.

What if we were to start living life with this perspective? What if we actually believed there was something beautiful and meaningful about every single person we come in contact with? As I read scripture I can’t help but notice that Jesus seemed to have this perspective on people. Aside from his obvious distain for the religious legalists, Jesus truly enjoyed the presence of people.

I wonder how I would treat people if I believed they were a beautiful work of art that held information I knew could be important for my life. Better yet, what if I believed it was important to God that I treated people this way? What if I saw a piece of God in everyone? I bet my perspective on people would be completely changed.

What about you? Do you see the beauty in people?

Love/Hate

2006-12-31T23:20:00.000-08:00

I have a love/hate relationship with New Years. Every year at this time I enjoy the process of thinking through the things I’d like to change in my life. However, I also find myself thinking through all of the things I failed to achieve the year prior. For some reason my second list is always longer than my first one. In other words, rarely do I actually change anything. This year I’ve been asking myself why this is and I’ve come to a conclusion.

A true journey of change isn’t about changing my scenery; it’s about changing the way I see. Anything less is nothing more than the same sh*t in a different place. In other words, changing my external circumstances, without addressing my internal ones is worthless.

Just something to think about.

I truly pray that your new year will be a time of real change, success, and growth, but more importantly I pray that you will experience a renewed and strengthened relationship with your creator. Have an amazing year!

Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality: Part Five

2006-12-30T02:03:00.000-08:00

Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality: Part Five

DICLAIMER: Please understand that these are broad brush strokes and intended to incite conversation, thought and action. This is not intended to include, and or define everyone calling themselves a Christian.

Now let’s turn to the matter of Christian freedoms. This is an interesting subject and one that has more room for interpretation than pretty much any other matter in the Christian world. The difference between Christians and those who practice Christian spirituality really boils down to one view of what is acceptable for a believer to take part in and what is not.

Basically it’s as simple as this; we believe that the church is not the believer’s moral compass. In other words the church does not, nor should it, define morality. In many ways the church has established a set of moral standards that have become the test of mature Christian behavior. Good Christians don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t hang out in bars, listen to secular music, have friends of different beliefs and or lifestyles, and so on. As I mentioned earlier in this series, this has happened because the church lives in fear of loosing people. Because of this fear the church has made an attempt to vilify anything that isn’t “holy” in order to keep people away from the potential damage that could come at the hands of the wicked world. When people are separated from the world they will naturally look for community and where better to find it than in the church.

I believe that this trend is an unintentional one, but the damage its doing is profound. Where judgment exists there will be problems. As the culture of regulation has progressed it’s taken a natural turn toward “classification of sin.” What I mean by that is the church has propagated a culture that will tolerate certain sins, but others are in a special class of their own. An example would be homosexuality.

In countless churches across the country there are men and women living together outside the confines of marriage. For some reason these folks are taken into the fold and loved on, and yet the homosexual couple is shunned and made to feel un-welcome. The mentality of regulations is so ingrained in the minds of Christians, that they can’t see the blatant hypocrisy in their midst. Although this is denied by almost everyone I talk to, the evidence is staggering. The bottom line is, the culture of regulations has inadvertently created a classification system for sin and it is turning the church inward, in sort of a spiritual nepotism.

“If you’re not a pervert (said with a hillbilly accent), we’ll tell ya bout’s Jesus.” Christianity has become the suburban, conservative republican’s religion of choice. Jesus and the other bible characters are portrayed as white men and women to the children, and the programs are geared towards certain demographics. On the flip side, churches are opening their doors and affirming every type of behavior as acceptable in the sight of God. The extremes are ruling the Christian culture and the message of Christ is lost.

The church looks at people like myself and those who live their lives with Christian principles, outside the institution of the church, as rebels. We have beer in our refrigerators, cigars in our humidors, and gay friends. We’ve been known to be seen in bars, at secular rock concerts, and from time to time smoking on the fire escape. We talk about Jesus over wine and cheese, and elder meetings usually include cigars. Our love for each other is deep and our commit to Christ is unwavering, but we refuse to accept rules that are not explicitly or implicitly instructed in scripture. Jesus is our moral compass and morality is defined by scripture.

In addition, you will find that we have a tendency to maintain a friendship base that is just as large outside the gathering of the church, as it is within. We believe, as Christ said, that we are not called to those who already believer, but to those who desperately need Christ. When the church gathers the couches are filled with an eclectic mix of sinners. Liars, thieves, gays, gossips, boastful, arrogant, promiscuous, and worse gather together to explore the truth of scripture. Some believe, some don’t, but everyone is seeking. The journey towards true saving faith is a long one for some, and rather quick for others, but no matter where an individual falls on the faith journey they will be loved and accepted for who they are, and not judged based on what they do. Sin is still sin, and truth is not watered down, but the message isn’t rules, its Jesus.

(Of course the pendulum swings in both directions. There are churches within the institution that work differently, they will actually pull seekers into their midst through doing away with the issue of sin and regulation. There has been a great influx in the institution in this direction. In these cases liberalism is running ramped and the church is being destroyed from within. However, this is an entirely different subject that we’ll get into some other time.)

Have you ever seen “Forest Gump?” A certain point, after he had been running for months, he simply stopped. Well…..I’m gonna pull a Forest Gump….

Merry Christmas

2006-12-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

Greetings all,

I wanted to take a moment and wish all of you a truly amazing Christmas. I pray you're all surrounded by those you love and enjoying yourselves very much. Lets focus on Christ this weekend and get back to our blogging next week. I love you guy.

Warm Wishes

Joshua

Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality: Part Four

2006-12-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

DICLAIMER: Please understand that these are broad brush strokes and intended to incite thought, conversation and action. This is not intended to include and or define everyone calling themselves a Christian.

I’ve received a lot of e-mail regarding these posts and I’d like to thank all of you for your thoughts, even those telling me I’ll “burn in hell.” Statements like that just go to prove that there is some truth to the ideas I’ve been raising in this series. Once again thanks for all your idea and I hope that this series has provoked thought and maybe even some conversation amongst those you worship with.

(Continued from Part Three)

Having already discussed the matters of the nature of the Church, and salvation/conversion I’d like to bring up the matter of Christian leadership again, as well as, the matter of God given freedoms (if we make it that far).

I’ve long said that there is a problem with the leadership of the church. I call it the “Titanic Mentality.” The titanic mentality is simple to understand and even simpler to spot. As we discussed in part three, Christian leadership is standing by as the magnificent ship of what was once the church as it sinks into a bottomless pit of complacency.

It never ceases to amaze me how self-centered, blind, or plain old stupid many Christian pastors/elders have become. Church attendance is dropping in the majority of church, and those who are growing are not growing by conversion they are stealing people from other churches. It’s called transfer growth, and it’s mostly unchecked. The pastors of the growing churches are reveling in their success, and propagating the bastardized version or Christianity, and the pastors of the struggling church keep trying to implement the strategies of the mega churches in the hope that something will catch on and cause growth. In both cases, the issues that need to be addresses are being ignored.

The titanic mentality is simple. Pastors are on a sinking ship, they know the ship is sinking, but they still walk the decks with a smile on their faces, whistling a happy tune hoping on hope that no one will notice the water pouring into the boat. Why? If the boat sinks, they’re out of a job!!! Pastors know that their churches will be dead or dying in the next ten or fifteen years, if it’s not already. But, they also know that if they tell the people, the process will be accelerated as people seek refuge in lifeboats; i.e. the church down the street. It’s horrible, sad, and pathetic, but in my opinion, job security is one of the major reasons the issues in the church are not being addressed.

Pastors hold a tremendous amount of authority in the lives of the people they “shepherd.” People trust their pastors to keep their finger on the pulse of the church and to seek Gods wisdom in regards to the direction of their assembly. The vast majority of Christians are not aware of the devastation in the church, so if the pastor doesn’t have the intestinal, and or moral fortitude to speak truth to his people, they will continue moving in the direction they are moving without a care in the world, just like the good little sheep they are. Meanwhile, the pastor keeps his paycheck one more week. Never mind the fact that the pastors salary is 49% of the church annual budget, and that not a single penny has gone to the actual work of the ministry, aside from a couple hundred bucks a month split between six missionaries in foreign lands.

This is how it plays out. Pastors read, so pastors know what is happening in the church. Trust me; there are very few pastors who are unaware of the reformation that is beginning to take place in the church internationally. Pastors begin to see a trend taking place in the church. If that trend will not effect the bottom line (growing and collecting) they will at least give it a courtesy sermon, and some may even order a few books on the subject and sell them to the patrons for a reduced cost. Having “progressive” material available make the church appears to on the cutting edge, when in reality it’s not even close.

However, if the movement of the church is beginning to look like it will completely change the way the world views God, religion, church and Jesus (as the current movement does) they begin to establish a battle plan. Mind you, it’s a covert operation. Neither the leadership, nor the congregation can know until the plan is in place. It may not be a conscious deception, but its deception none the less. I’ve been amazed at how many pastors I’ve sat with who will look me in the eye and tell me that they are aware of the movement of the church, and then give me some lame ass excuse as to why they think it’s unhealthy, or unbeneficial. They know the movement is coming (the titanic mentality), but they also know the movement will require dramatic change and possibly even some restructuring. In most cases this is a problem, because they have allowed “growing, getting, keeping, and collecting” to turn their congregations into apathetic, lukewarm, possibly saved, people who have no intention of changing, or stepping up to the plate to engage the radical call of Christ.

The Church is the west is sick. We’re anemic, emasculated, lazy and pathetic!!! No longer is the church in the west the once powerful catalyst of change in the world! No longer are we a sending nation! No longer are we the center of our communities! No longer are we the voice of truth! We are nothing, and we will continue to be nothing until the men of God who lead his church stand up, grow some ______ and lead the church into the next century! Pastors who have allowed their churches to become lazy, must, I repeat, MUST be called on the carpet, confronted, and removed if they are unwilling to call the people of God to action!!!

Not long ago I sat in a congregational meeting at church and witnessed the most pathetic display I have ever seen. The church was in a time of transition, they were between pastors. The chairman of the elder board presided over the meeting and there were probably one-hundred people present. The conversation quickly went downhill.
The church was cutting a missionary out of the budget because her husband had died. Their rational was that she was no longer doing the same work her husband had been doing. I didn’t speak up at that point. I spoke up when someone suggested that they reassigned the money to the building maintenance fund!!! I came unglued. My comments were brushed off, the vote passed, the money was reassigned, and the meeting went on. The next order of business was to discuss the salary of the new pastor. The candidate had submitted a certain number that he would be willing to take and the church was deliberating on whether or not to accept it. The number was half the annual budget for the entire church. Now put this into perspective. An additional 10% of the budget had just been assigned to the building fund totaling about 20%. Now 49% of the budget was going to be approved for the new pastor, and less than 5% of the budget was being spent on missions, or outreach. The remainder of the budget went to things like paying bills, decorating, Sunday school materials, secondary staff costs etc. I lost it, and I called on the elders of the church to do the right thing. The vote was taken, the vote passed, the candidate was accepted, and now the church has shrunk by 50%.

Folks this is more common than you would ever want to know. The American church is impotent and dying because of this kind of mentality. Pastors are the primary expenditure, evangelism is a second thought, and the congregation sees no problem with it. What’s worse? Pastors are willing to suck the life out of a church with their salaries because they think they have the ability to GROW the church to the point that it makes more money!!! WHAT THE HELL (literally)!!!

Pastors, I beg you, please, please, please, consider the love you once had for the church. Evaluate yourself by the standards of scripture. Are you leading the flock to the lush green pastures of Christ’s call, or are you leading them to the butcher. You will stand before God and give an account for the souls of your people (Heb 13); will it be a beautiful day?

Pastors, and I know some of you read this blog; the church is at the threshold of a major reformation! It’s time, it’s needed, and it’s coming whether you’re on board or not!!! Put your people before your job, and make decisions based on the call of God. Have you forgotten who lifted you to the office of pastor in the first place? Do you truly fear that your savior will leave you unemployed and in the cold? If so you need to resign and make way for a man of faith!!! The Church, the Bride, is not your retirement fund, it’s not your meal ticket and it’s not your kid’s college fund. The Church is Christ’s vehicle on earth for the purpose of saving those who would be lost!!!

If you no longer have a passion for seeking and saving the lost, jump ship, before you’re thrown overboard. There’s a new generation of Godly men hot on you heals and we have no tolerance for the dead weight!!! Step up to the plate, or get off the field.

My fingers hurt……More to come….

Stay tuned for Part Five

Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality: Part Three

2006-12-20T14:07:00.000-08:00

DICLAIMER: Please understand that these are broad brush strokes and intended to incite thought, conversation, and action. This is not intended to include, and or define everyone calling themselves a Christian.

So now that I’ve made some very broad brush strokes about Christianity, and asserted my opinions (undoubtedly flawed), lets take a look at the differences between these to views.

Christian Spirituality, as its name reflects, is birthed out of the Christian faith. We believe in the triune God (Father, Son Spirit), the Holy Scriptures, and most of the standard Christian truths. However, as I stated in part one, most of the differences exist in the practical outworking of those beliefs. Christian Spirituality is not a religion; it’s a belief system that is manifest through a relevant lifestyle. In other words, it’s not something you do, it’s who you are.

Christian spirituality is rooted in and upon the revolutionary life and teachings of Jesus Christ. The fundamental differences lie in the in a couple of main areas.

1). The Church is not an institution, a building, a non-profit organization or anything of the sort. The Church is a living breathing organism made up of those who have truly and fully committed their lives to Christ. Those in the Christian religion will claim that this is their belief system, but there is little evidence to support such a claim. Those who embrace Christian Spirituality place little importance on formal church services. Although they believe that the saints need to gather together as instructed in the scripture (Heb. 10:24-25) they see no specifications in scripture that dictate how, when, or where such gatherings should be held. Subsequently, often times there is little organization in this regard, and it’s most assuredly not the primary focus of the believer.

Believers with this sort of mind set gather together in many different ways, at different times, and in different places. Some meet in home, some in bars, coffee shops, or restaurants, still others meet on a larger scale in what looks similar to a church service. However, these services are likely to look and feel different than a standard Christian meeting. These meetings are externally focused in that they point outwards toward the world and emphasize that the believer be in the world up to their foreheads.

Some will argue that these smaller meetings also take place within the Christian church, but there is a fundamental difference. Small groups as they are commonly called in Christian circles are designed to be stepping stones that help move people towards the larger church assembly. Small groups provide a non-intimidating environment for the wary to experience church before they take the big step into the main assembly. They are inwardly focused.

This idea is frequently seen in the small group development material that is put out by many of the larger organization out there. The entire focus of the small group plan is to bring people into the church. In other words, small groups are a church growth strategy that can also be use in a secondary fashion as fellowship. Do you see the problem? The fellowship of the saints is secondary to the growth of the organization. The paradigm is seriously out of whack.

2). Secondly, the matter of salvation must be addressed as a difference. As discussed earlier, within the Christian religion conversion takes place at the time the mantra is vocalized. Although the vast majority of Christians will claim that this is not the case, the reality of the situation is there is nothing to prove this statement as inaccurate. The sinner’s prayer is the moment in time that Christians use to identify when conversion took place. This prayer also allows believers to make judgment calls as to whether or not someone should be approached as a believer or as an unbeliever. If the prayer has been recited, the person is saved, if the prayer has not been recited, the destination is hell.

Although I believe that most Christians would claim that the prayer must be accompanied by a true heart of faith, I have seldom heard it explained. Countless times I have heard it said, “If you don't feel that you can believe, simply ask God for the faith and pray the prayer.” Once again, the prayer comes before the faith, which would lead on to believe that the faith never truly existed in the first place. It doesn’t take much to see the dangerous patter that has taken root in the Christian church. One would have to wonder how many of those claiming to be “saved” have no claim on heaven other than that they recited a prayer.

Those who hold fast to Christian spirituality would say that Salvation occurs when a persons heart is convinced by the Spirit of the living God that Jesus Christ died on the cross, rose from the grave, and is now seated at the right hand of the father in heaven. There can be no mistaking the call to faith, or the conviction of Jesus’ divinity. Although there may not be a specific date that can be attributed to this “conversion”, the resulting change in the life of the convert is dramatic. The belief is that when someone comes into contact with the extreme nature of God there will be extreme change. At the moment of conversion the individual has no choice but to believe, due to the immensity of conviction place on their heart by the Spirit of God! In other words conversion takes place at the moment a heart is convinced that their sin requires a savior and that that savior is none other than the living God who sent is son Jesus Christ to die in his or her place.

What I find to be most frustrating about this issue is that nearly all Christian leadership is fully aware of what true conversion looks like, but they do nothing to promote it. Christian clergy have become lazy, cowards who are more concerned with numbers than salvations. Countless people sit in their pews on Sunday morning fully convinced that they will see the face of Jesus upon death when in reality that have no claim on heaven. Silence is maintained on the issue because true salvation has teeth, and today’s clergy no longer have the balls to hold their parishioner to the extreme nature of Christ’s call!!! If the dramatic call of Christ is preached, their number will diminish, because the true call of Christ is not what most believers have signed up for.

The false promises of peace and prosperity have backed clergy into a corner. Their lies are now defining their strategy. Think about it, who wants to pick up and instrument of death (the cross, representing dying to the world), deny themselves, and follow after a revolutionary (Luke 9:23-27) who requires everything of them, after they have been promised peace and prosperity. The silence of Christian clergy is contributing to the eternal death and ultimately the damnation of countless souls. Yet, nothing is said, and nothing is done.

Need to stretch my legs......more to come.

Stay tuned for part four.....

Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality: Part Two

2006-12-19T16:18:00.000-08:00

DICLAIMER: Please understand that the statements contained in this blog series are broad brush strokes, and intended to incite thought and action. This is not intended to include everyone calling themselves a Christian. Jeez...take a deep breath people :)

(Continued from yesterdays post below)…...Herein lies the problem, Christians have spent so many years hiding behind the doors of their churches, they have no idea how to effectively function within the modern culture. As a result they have no relevance in society. In my opinion the church is well aware of this fact, but because they are trapped in a corner sort of speak, they have no choice but to lash out. They lash out in self righteous judgment, as if to say, “Maybe if we keep telling them how evil they are, they will stop picking on us.” However, the world will not stop progressing, and the Christian religion shows no sign of progressing, so the rift between culture and religion gets wider, and wider.

So here we sit. The institution of church has stopped contributing to culture in favor of separation, and the culture, without the presence of a true witness, continues to grow darker and darker. They keep their existing patrons through fear of the wicked world, and they get people through false promises of peace and prosperity. All the while hoping on hope that one day they will grow big enough to once again regain control of the culture.

False promises play a large part within the culture of the church. People are drawn out of the secular culture and into the Christian religion through the promise of a life that is defined by peace and prosperity. They have a mantra known as “the sinner’s prayer” which promises to bring Jesus into ones life and to save from hell. Although there is no scriptural premise for this sinners prayer it is now the limpness test for whether or not someone will ultimately end up in heaven or hell. “Have you asked Jesus into your heart?” The one million dollar question.

The sinners prayer is the cure all, end all for the life that has been defined by worldly sin. Once a believer has prayed the prayer they have the guarantee of eternity in heaven. Although many, if not most, of those claming to have prayed the prayer show no sign of true change after having prayed, the act of praying is all that really matters. From the point of “conversion” the “believer” is then ushered into what is called discipleship.

Discipleship is the process of teaching new believers the rules and reiterating the promises. It’s basically a class on how to do Christianity. Although discipleship is not a bad thing, it has become less about truly educating the believer about their faith, and more about forming the believer into a homogonous saint. Discipleship is designed to help progress a believer from the infant stages of their faith into a more mature faith complete with service, and tithing (giving money). After discipleship, the new believer is considered to be well on their way to a mature Christian faith.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not opposed to biblical discipleship, but I am opposed to this form of discipleship. In the book of Matthew Jesus’ instruction to the church was to go into the world, make disciples, and then teach them to do the same. Discipleship within the Christian religion has nothing to do with launching the believer into a life of service to God and people, it’s about establishing the rules that they must follow to be considered an acceptable Christian. Granted, the new convert is taught about the basic principles of the faith, but the true spirit of disciple making has long been lost and forgotten.

Where does all of this leave us? It leaves us with religion. Christianity is no longer contributing to culture, salvation is based on a mantra, and maturity is defined by obedience to the Christian moral standards, which sadly are based on fear of the culture.
Rules have been established that have no biblical precedent, and “true faith” is defined by church attendance and monetary donation. All told it looks more like a social club than a revolutionary movement.

The similarities between Christianity and Catholicism are staggering. In both world religions the institution of the church holds priority and authority over the individual. Both have liturgical practices, and both put more emphasis on church attendance than on true change. Think about it, how many Christian churches have you attended? Have you ever seen anything but a slight deviation in the way those services are conducted.

· Opening Prayer
· “Worship” (stand up)
· Communion (optional once a month, or after lecture) (sit down)
· Special Music (Optional)
· Prayer for lecture
· Lecture (Sit Down)
· Prayer for offering (stand up)
· Offering (sit down)
· Closing song. (stand up)

This may not look like priests walking down the isle with censors billowing incense, alter boys in white robes, and opulently dressed pontiffs, but its liturgical practice none the less. Every where you go it’s the same thing. Why? Because it’s a religion! Religion is about conformity, not individual expressions of worship.

I have to pee again, so….

Part Three tomorrow…..Stay tuned for more of my self-righteous opinions

Christianity vs. Christian Spirituality: Part One

2006-12-18T15:34:00.000-08:00

Recently I’ve received a lot of questions regarding the difference between Christianity, and Christian Spirituality. Most of you know that I no longer align myself with what would be considered mainstream Christianity, but have chosen to adopt a more “liberal” stance, often times referred to as Christian Spirituality. When the two are lined up next to one another, almost without fail most Christians will claim to be spiritualist rather than Christians, but the reality is, they are not, nor will they ever be.

Brass tacks, bottom line, Christian Spirituality is a worldview, or as I like to call it a “Goodview” that shares some common elements with Christianity, but is also dramatically different in many ways. Please understand that different people hold different positions on this matter so my explanation is subjective at best.

In Short, both views hold to the core fundamental beliefs of the early church, for example;

· The central character is Christ.
· The central metaphor is the cross.
· The central instruction is scripture (The ancient Hebrew text known as the Bible).
· The triune nature of God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit).

The differences lay in the practical outworking of those beliefs. To most, the difference may seem so incidental, but to those close to the issue the differences are dramatic.

At its roots it comes down to the issue of Organism vs. Institution. Today’s Christianity is a world religion. In other words, one can now claim to be a Christian, and be accepted as such, simply based upon the denominational persuasion of their family. Much like the catholic faith, association with the church is implied by birth and has nothing to do with faith. The Christian faith is no longer rooted in a true faith.

Secondly, The Church has become an institution. The church is the place a Christian goes to on Sunday to be with friends and family. It’s the organization that provides Sunday worship services and various programs. Christians are content to attend church, live a good life, contribute when possible, and give to the organization so the “work of the Lord” can go on. Jesus is a savior in the sky who died for their sins, and is readily available when needed. Within the Christian institution, expectation is limited to regular attendance, and monetary donation, and the main thrust of ministry is limited to those who have chosen it as a vocation.

Subsequently, because the church is the trusted source of spiritual instruction, and personal study is not significantly stressed, the views of the church have become the views of the Christian. In other words the Christian has in many ways stopped thinking and is now simply accepting. I’m not trying to say that Christians are mindless, or that they don’t think for themselves, but I’m very concerned with the herd mentality. What concerns me is that Christians are not considering the big picture.
If the focus of the church is no longer “going” as Christ commanded, then it’s safe to say that their focus is elsewhere. The question is, where is the focus of the church and how does that focus affect what is being taught. In my opinion, the focus is no longer going, it’s growing.

Think about it! If the churches focus is growing, getting bigger, then what will the church have to make their primary focus? Answer: keeping people, and getting people. If keeping people and getting people is primary then it becomes paramount that the church set some boundaries. There have to be rules. Why? Because, rules keep people scared, and scared people follow blindly. I don’t believe the church is intentionally attempting to scare people, but I do believe that fear is a natural result of this progression.

In a nut shell the church has allowed itself to fall into a cycle that promotes fear in an attempt to keep people in the pews. Fear is generated by preaching the overwhelming wickedness of the world, which although true, is also very misleading. The world is filled with unspeakable things, but it is also the context in which we live, and is subsequently our mission field. However, this is not the message of the church. The message of the church is separation. Separate from the world and find safety in the warmth and comfort of the church. The church will protect you, just keep coming and keep donating so we can keep the lights on. Because of this mindset (although exaggerated) Christians have become hostile to the people living in the depths of “perversion” and are note afraid to be vocal about it. They fear the wiles of alcohol, smoking, certain movies, and anything else that could potentially penetrate their warm comfortable existence. Separation is the only answer.

Part Two Tomorrow……………..

I’ve had too much coffee and I need to pee. J

A question worth asking.

2006-12-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

Have you ever stopped to think about the things that you allow to control you? I was thinking about this question today and it’s quite overwhelming. I’m not just talking about the big stuff, you know, nicotine, alcohol, sex, and so on, but the smaller stuff. The stuff that goes unnoticed without careful introspection.

I don’t want to make any suggestions, but there are a lot of things that are possibilities. Some of them aren’t malignant in anyway, their just regular parts of life. Others are just as normal, but not so friendly. For example, I once heard this quote, that pointed out how extremely frustrating it would be to eat if God hadn’t made food seem so enjoyable to us. We have to eat, it controls us.

The apostle Paul points out in the first epistle to the Corinthian Church that God has granted us a tremendous amount of freedom as believers. He says that we can take part in almost anything that we want to, but that not everything we take part in is edifying, or in other words beneficial and ultimately right before God. However, it’s amazing how quickly something that seems so simple, and within our God given freedom, can become such a beast unnoticed.

What controls you? Is there anything in your life that you have allowed to become bigger than it should have become? Is there anything that although designed to be a freedom for you, has become a burden in you?

It’s a question worth asking.

People Ready?

2006-12-16T15:12:00.000-08:00

While browsing the headlines online I came across a Microsoft add that caught my attention. The commercial is advertising network solutions, but the tag line was profound, it reads, “Is Your Business People Ready?” What a great question!

Isn’t it funny how business does such a great job of marketing itself in ways that people relate to? The business asks relevant questions and then adapts to meet the needs of the ever changing culture. I wonder why major businesses can adapt so quickly, but the church moves at the speed of sludge in January. I hear talk by emerging leaders about being organic, and holistic, but their churches are nothing more than standard evangelical churches with a postmodern paint job. They’ve painted the walls neutral earth tones and play emo worship, but they aren’t exegeting the culture any better than the Second Baptist Church of South Central No Where.

We need to ask ourselves the question Microsoft is posing. Is the church "people ready?" Have we figured out how to be relevant in our culture? Do we have answers to the questions plaguing the minds of the seeking? Are we prepared to meet the needs of a newly emerging generation? Are we set up to adapt to the movement of the culture?

I’ve been asking myself this question all day and I’m humbled by my lack of conclusions. What does it mean to be “people ready?” Is Tapestry people ready? Am I as a pastor people ready? I’m not sure that we are.

I’ll be asking myself this question until I answer myself. More to come…

Another One Down...

2006-12-11T23:29:00.000-08:00

Another one down. I don’t know what to say…

“In a tearful videotaped message Sunday to his congregation, the senior pastor of a thriving evangelical megachurch in south metro Denver confessed to sexual relations with other men and announced he had voluntarily resigned his pulpit.

A month ago, the Rev. Paul Barnes of Grace Chapel in Doug las County preached to his 2,100-member congregation about integrity and grace in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard drugs-and-gay-sex
scandal. Now, the 54-year-old Barnes joins Haggard as a fallen evangelical minister who preached that homosexuality was a sin but grappled with a hidden life. http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_4817067

Careful saints of God. Remember, the next man to take this pulpit will be no closer to perfection than Mr. Barnes. Pray for this family, pray for Paul Barnes, pray for his congrigation, but pray as well for the bride,of Christ, The Church. We're in a desperate state.

Sea-Tac Takes Down Christmas Trees

2006-12-10T23:12:00.000-08:00

This morning it was reported that Seattle-Tacoma International Airport has taken down all of it Christmas trees in response to a formal complaint filed with airport officials. The complaint came from a local Rabbi who wanted to have an 8 foot menorah installed complete with a public lighting ceremony. Sea-Tac’s talking mouth claims they complied with the demands after the Rabbi threatened to sue the Port of Seattle if his demand were not met in two days. Apparently the airport is two busy with holiday traffic and helping to ensure the safe travel of thousands to worry about adding holiday paraphernalia that reflects the diversity of various religions. Go figure.

Every year it’s something different and quite frankly I just don’t care. Look folks, what’s the difference? Is our faith affected by whether or not some Wal-Mart chooses to take Christ out of Christmas on their signs (Xmas)? Is the story of Jesus’ birth compromised if Sea-Tac takes down the trees? Is the redemptive work of Christ dependent upon the world’s views of our holiday?

I know some of you will e-mail me with complaints, and if you’re one of those people hit yourself because you deserve it. Christmas is sacred to followers of Christ because it’s a day that represents the birth of our savior. The world doesn’t know our savoir, He means nothing to them. As long as the government isn’t trying to take away our rights to celebrate, as long as we continue to have freedom to express our gratitude to our savior publicly then there is no issue, so let’s not try to manufacture one.

There are battles to be fought, and there are battles that don’t deserve the effort. Christmas trees have nothing to do with Christ! December 25th wasn’t Jesus’ actual birthday! Sea-Tac is an AIRPORT! The Port of Seattle has no responsibility to make the air terminal feel like home anymore than they have the responsibility to decorate the cranes at the shipyards. If some over zealous rabbi feels the need to make a name for him/herself, that’s not our issue. Our faith is a beautiful faith rooted in compassion, love, and hope. Our responsibility is to love God, and love people.

King of the Retards

2006-12-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

Recently I had a conversation with some one that prompted so much thought I’ve had to begin writing down my thoughts in order to continue thinking on the matter. This particular individual and I are antithetical in almost every way. However, although we disagree on almost everything we deeply appreciate each other and remain truly close friends. The subject of conversation was, as it frequently is, God and faith.

My friends position is that faith in a God, particularly my God (the triune God; father, son, and spirit), is nothing more than a crutch for my weak mind. He contends that the idea of God gives mankind hope in a hopeless world, and acts as a placebo allowing people to see the coincidental as miraculous, the positive as blessing, and the negative as divine providence. He believes in moral relativism, and advocates an existential approach to life. Of course out of respect for our friendship he omits me from the weak minded masses J

As I’ve been thinking on the matter I have to say that I disagree with his omission of my membership in the mindless masses. If faith in God is for the weak minded then I’m the chief of the retards!!! And proud of it!

We are artists, musicians, teachers, professors, inventors, civil servants, doctors, lawyers, skilled tradesmen, nurses, and pilots. We are blue collar, white collar, and everything in between. Our faith has changed the course of human history and defined a moral standard used around the world. We boast some of histories greatest thinkers, and those who have served our God have aided in shaping the foundations of countries.

True lovers of God are called upon to trade the vast majority of their physical desires for a life of discipline and service, to live in constant introspection and adaptation, and to constantly expand our thinking by veracious reading, and study of the ancient texts. We deny ourselves sexual passions until marriage, we live free of many common substances, and we give our lives for others. Christian spirituality is a joyful, but difficult life.

If faith in God is a crutch, it isn’t a very good one!

Personally, if I were looking for a crutch I would look for something that made me feel good. I’d indulge in all of my physical passions, and use substances to anesthetize the pain. I’d crown myself the highest form of life and then live based on my own moral standards. I’d deny the existence of a God and serve myself as supreme. I would explain away the supernatural with generalities and platitudes and live in the freedom of my own imagination. The only God in my life would be me! Now that sounds like fun.

If there’s a crutch in this life, it isn’t my faith.

Darfur Genocide

2006-12-01T22:31:00.000-08:00

On any given afternoon, well dressed women blows into Starbucks dressed to the nines. With a quick sigh of relief and a shake of her umbrella she heads for the counter to order her tall, non-fat, no whip, extra hot, triple shot, vanilla hazelnut latte with room for cream. The counter clerk is sweet as usual, and as she hears her named called she picks-up her coffee and proceeds to a quiet corner where she plugs in her laptop and gently sips her designer coffee in the warmth of this little piece of paradise.

At the same time a women not so different from the previous cowers in a corner, covered in a blanket with her young child praying to God she won’t be heard, and subsequently found. As the rebels raid her village for the third time this month she hears the screams of mothers, the cries of fathers, and the weeping of children as crudely fashioned machetes cut through their flesh. Bullets wiz through her home seeking someone to kill and nearly miss her. She fights back the screams of rage and fear with everything she has in hopes of keeping her life one more day in Darfur Sudan.

Two separate worlds on the same day.

Those of you who know me, or have been following this blog through its different stages know that I don’t care to get involved in politics. Although I follow politics very closely and continually educate myself I feel it necessary in my position to refrain from expressing my political views in a public forum, or from the pulpit. With that said, I’m going to approach this subject carefully.

Today in Sudan, and several other countries, genocide is claiming the lives of innocent people. Thousands upon thousands of people are dying for nothing more than being born into the wrong family, in the wrong part of town, in the wrong religion. Governments, including ours, are doing nothing, because world politics take precedent over human life. The price of oil is revered over the sanctity of life. The political ramifications of intervention out weigh the cost of providing aid. As you read this blog someone is dying for nothing.

I don’t want to this message to be received as being cryptic, or depressing, but the realities of our world are in many cases not pretty. On CNN, Fox, MSNBC, ABC, and NBC we see pictures of pain that no longer affect our souls. Children are strapping bombs to their chests, one tribe is killing another tribe, poverty is ravaging a nation, children are dying of malnutrition, and we continue to change the channel, or simply ignore the bigger picture of humanity. When are we going to care? If we care is there anything we can do?

The answers to these questions are simple. We are going to care when we ask God to give us His heart for people, and we can help by praying, giving and serving. I believe with every cell in my body that Jesus is moved to tears over the harsh reality of human suffering, and I know that if He chose to walk the earth today, like he did so long ago, he would be in the middle of the hurt, the pain, and the suffering. Remember, Jesus is not a right winged, Caucasian American, with an S.U.V.

If nothing else, stop and take a minute to inform yourself on the issues. Click on some of the links I’ve provided and allow your mind to take you to these places. In my opinion, these are the places Jesus would be and that means these are the people we should care about.

Although my mind is on fire at the moment, and I am dieing to dive into the political issues at hand, I’m going to leave this subject for tonight and trust that you will at least stop and look at some of the subjects I’ve provided.

FYI…tomorrow at Elliot Bay Book Co. on 1st Ave. in Seattle there will be a book reading from the author of “Darfur Diaries” at 4PM. I’m going to be there, Look for the fat guy with a shaved head and a cross tattooed on his right forearm. I love you guys….goodnight.

http://www.darfurgenocide.org/

http://www.persecution.com/

http://www.prisoneralert.com/

http://www.preventgenocide.org/

Dan Savage Speaks Truth

2006-11-27T23:48:00.000-08:00

This morning, over my coffee and toast I stopped by “Slog” to read Dan Savages blog and stumbled on this little gem.

“A lot of letters explaining that Jesus is laying in wait, ready to pounce, and change me from gay to straight came in after I threatened in a recent column to bitch-slap the next fundie douche who sent me a note about Jesus flipping my switch. Jesus is ready to work a miracle in my life, they tell me, even if he can’t be bothered to work on in Haggard’s. (Having seen my boyfriend in Speedo, I’d say Jesus already worked a miracle in my life.) The arrival of these letters can only mean one thing: there are a lot fundies out there who want to be slapped around by fags…” http://www.thestranger.com/blog/2006/11/re_dobson_predicts_f.php

I’m sure many of you would love to be outraged, but the reality is the dude is right. In fact I’m ready to slap the next Christian who makes the same mistake as these boneheads have. I’ve said it a million times and I hope sooner or later someone will listen. The world doesn’t hate God they hate his followers. They hate us because we still think the world gives a sh#t about our faith.

WAKE UP!!! We live in a post-Christian, post-western world folks and the reality is, so much damage has been done in the name of Jesus that the world has a very hard time disassociating Jesus from Christianity. When we throw around the name of Jesus in this manner we do nothing but create resentment and animosity.

We’ve all heard it said, “People don’t care how much you know till they know how much you care.” It’s cliché, but true. The Christian faith was built on a revolutionary named Jesus who changed the world through his commitment and focus on love, hope, and faith. People were drawn to Jesus because he loved unconditionally, and understood that an unbelieving world did not share his passion for the kingdom of God.

I have homosexual friends who I cherish. I love them and they love me. Why? The answer is simple, people can disagree, passionately at times, but if there is love in the mix it ends with a hug and a smile.
They know that I don’t condone homosexuality (probably not for the reasons you expect), but they also know I do condone people. People of every shape, size and lifestyle. Why? Because Jesus did. If you want to have the opportunity to share your faith you have got to earn the right to be heard, and once you’ve been heard you have to accept the fact that many won’t agree. If they don’t agree, so what. Read your bible, It’s not your job to convert the people, you’re job is to love people, pray for people and share your faith when the opportunity arises. If God wants a conversion out of the mix nothings going to stop Him.

Writing letters to people you don’t agree with and throwing the name of Jesus around is both stupid and ineffective. God doesn’t judge homosexuality any differently than he judges your self righteous judgment. God is after our hearts. That includes your heart, my heart and Mr. Savage’s heart, and when he finds that heart I don’t think he could care less if it’s in a homosexual, or a heterosexual.

Your convictions are rooted in your faith. Stop expecting that those who don’t share your faith to share your convictions. Live your faith, and if your faith is rooted in something real (and I believe it is) people will be drawn to it. Just like Jesus.

Ted Haggard

2006-11-26T16:47:00.000-08:00

I’ve tried to ignore this whole matter, but due to the onslaught of questions concerning it, I’ll respond quickly.

The day I heard about Ted Haggard (The Colorado pastor caught in a homosexual relationship) I felt as though I’d been kicked in the gut. It wasn’t the affair or the homosexual nature of the issue; it was the fact that once again the name of our savior took a slap in the face. The slap didn’t originate from Ted Haggards pants, and it wasn’t the leftist haters circling like buzzards, it was the response of the “Christian” community.
The moment the news broke, evangelical leaders across the country started disassociating themselves from Haggard as quickly as they could get the coverage. As soon as the word “homosexual” was mentioned Christian leaders nation wide ran for the big red button on the wall to engage the emergency damage control center.

Haggard is a man, which means Haggard deals with sin. Sin is a reality of life and each of us is guilty of failing to live up to the Holy standards of our creator. The problem we are facing in America is the “Classification of Sin.” In other words, Christians have decided amongst ourselves that some sins are greater than others. In the case of “lesser” sin we band together as brothers and sister and support the sinner into beautiful and peaceful reconciliation. However, in the case of the “greater” sins we run for the hills like fourth grade school girls and deny any association. We’re cowards!

Ted Haggard pulled a stupid, but homosexual, heterosexual, or anything in between, or beyond has been covered by the price Christ paid on the cross. As a pastor Mr. Haggard submitted himself to a public position and subsequently public scrutiny. His actions were not becoming of a man in his position of responsibility or his office as pastor and he should be relieved of his position for a season (as determined by God) to evaluate himself, and to reconcile with his wife, family, church family, and God. Both He and his family deserve our prayers of love and support.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Rain is God's Way...

2006-11-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

Rain is God's way of cleaning the alleys. A strange statement to some, but to those who live in the urban core a well known truth. The other day as I left our Belltown apartment from the rear fire escape/alley exit, I was greeted by a "Kenny pile." Kenney is our resident homeless man whose world exists within the boundaries of first and Second Avenue, between Stewart and Virginia Street. At night, Kenny, a rather large black man complete with matted beard and what will soon be dreadlocks, sneaks into a parking garage on our block and stays out of the rain. During the days Kenny guards the phone booth on the corner like Fort Knox. Frequently he can be found talking quietly to himself, or humming a tune from the Deep South, but one thing you can count on, Kenny won't ask for money.

On this morning, Kenny had used the back steps of our fire escape as a toilet and I nearly stepped in it. I really like Kenny, I find him fascinating, but I really can do without the piles. I took a super wide step over the pile and went about running my errands. When I returned the rain was coming down in sheets. As I ran for the fire escape, I noticed that Kenny's pile had been washed away by the rain and all that remained was wet cobblestone.

Don't ask me how, but for some reason I saw a bit of truth in that pile of shit. As disgusting as it was, all it took was a little rain to clean things up again. Maybe I have a low self image, but I saw a piece of my life in that pile. Parts of me that are nasty, that stink, that no one would ever want to see. Parts of my character that shame me, and remind me of my need for a savior.

I was able to look past the poop on my steps because I like Kenny. I was able to see his need and understand why a private place like our fire escape would be a suitable bathroom for a modest homeless man. I was able to laugh about it as I pictured Kenny peeking over the dumpsters making sure no one was approaching. It's still amazing to me how love can overlook even the most detestable things, and I can't help believe that my sin is no less detestable to God. Yet, because of his overwhelming love for me he's able to look past the shit and see my need.

God's grace is the rain that cleans the copplestone of my life. It washes the alleys that remain unseen and cleanses the parts of me no one wants to know about. I will forever be grateful for the grace of my savior that cleanses the reality of who I am.

Good Man

2006-11-25T20:23:00.000-08:00

Is there anything to be said for being a good man? Last night I sat with a couple of people and a conversation about marriage started. My wife went on and on about what a good guy I am, and how lucky she is to be married to me, etc, etc, etc. In that moment I realized that I have officially been domesticated!

As my wife spoke I began to flash back, and as the memories flooded my brain I was humbled by the reality of who I am. My wife only knows me a man who has learned how to love; she never experienced the man that I was only a couple of years before our marriage. An angry man, a violent man, a manipulator, arrogant, shallow, self-absorbed, and so on.

She never knew me as the man who was paid to intimidate, and physically hurt people. She never knew me as the arrogant young man who went through women like socks. She has never seen the capacity of my rage. My wife knows a man who doesn't speak much anymore and who has learned the value of family, compassion, and a gentle spirit. What she doesn't see is the constant battle with the guilt of my past demons.
I've come to know my demons. I know their names and from time to time they return. They remind me of days filled with activities I used to think made me a man. Things that even to this day are still attractive. I begin to ask questions about my life. I look at the nicely decorated house, the child asleep in the next room, the smell of scented candles in the kitchen, the neatly made beds, and I ask, "What the hell am I doing here?" What happened to the adrenaline of a good fight, the nights of guiltless sex, the mornings of waking up in a strange place? "How did I get here?"
Then it hits me; there's something to be said for being a good man. There's something to be said for reading your child to sleep. There's something to be said for coming home every night. Hell, there's might even be something to be said for scented candles! The reality is it takes twice the man to be a father. It takes twice the man to be a husband.

There's something to be said for being a good man. Tonight I'll go home to a clean house, a beautiful wife, a kid who adores me, and the smell of scented candles. I'll sit down take a cigar from my humidor, sip a screwdriver, and listen to my wife tell me about her day. That's right, I'm domesticated, and even with the little hand soaps in the bathroom, the placemats on the table, the poodle with the bow in his hair, and the freshly pressed shirts in my closet; I still pack a hell of a right hook.

Ready for a Refill?

2006-11-25T20:20:00.000-08:00

Are you ever surprised by your own stupidity? Do you ever forget who you really are? Well, at times I do, and today was a perfect example. Just before noon I decided to stop by good ol' Jack in the Box to get the best hamburger $.99 can buy. Where else can you get a full size burger with lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions and all for $.99? No Where! Anyway.....

As I sat at the table going over some paperwork a young Hispanic couple came in with their young daughter. I took notice because 1.) Their daughter was loud, 2.) They didn't speak a lick of English, 3.) I had been listening to talk radio in the car and immigration was the issue. I have to admit that I was a little irritated by their presence. Why? Because sometimes I'm surprised by my stupidity!

After they had ordered their food they sat down at the table to eat. Their daughter was screaming something in Spanish, and I couldn't concentrate. To make matters worse, their daughter spilled her bladder buster sized drink all over the table, chairs, and floor causing a huge scene. Her dad simply reached out and tosseled her hair as if to say, "It happens baby girl, no tears." Of course I missed that gentle gesture until much later. Why? Because sometimes I'm surprised by stupidity!

The clean-up and subsequent conversation was all in Spanish, and my mind kept wandering to talk radio as I pondered how much it was costing me in tax dollars to fund their little lunch. Why, because sometimes I'm surprised by my stupidity.

After the floor and table had been cleaned by mom with countless napkins, dad got up to refill her cup. As he headed for the pop machine I started to think, "That bum isn't even going to pay the refill charge." "Isn't it bad enough I have to pay for his lunch; now he's going to leach off good ol' Jack?" As he got closer I noticed that no one was looking and that he might just get away with it. I was furious! In my minds eye I was sprinting across the isle and tackling him before he could refill his Coke. Why? Because sometimes I'm surprised by my own stupidity!
Just as he was about to reach the pop machine I noticed him reaching into his pocket. A GUN? A KNIFE? A POCKET BOMB? ....................Who knows with these filthy illegal, they're capable of anything! Right?

Just then he reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. Carefully counting it out he waited quietly at the counter for several minute before someone noticed he was there. He couldn't speak English, so he handed the cashier the change, held up his cup, and pointed to the pop machine. The cashier waived off the change and motioned for the man to simply go ahead and fill his cup. As she turned away the young father look at the change in his hand and gently placed it on the counter next to the register before turning to fill the cup.

I was moved. I was angry with myself. I wanted to run across the room and hug the man, to shake his hand. I can't remember the last time I saw such integrity and gentleness. At that moment I was overcome with just how stupid I can be, and once again I heard the gentle voice of God whisper in my ear, "how about you son, ready for a refill?"

Just for the record, I would have refilled without paying. Why? Well, you know....