Thursday, September 6, 2007

My New Plan

I’ve got an idea. How about if we grow a mega church and then go into every part of the city and shut down existing churches. We’ll just move in and take over. Obviously the ministries that are already serving the community are not ordained by God if our presence completely halts their effectiveness. Granted, we have millions of dollars backing us, which affords us the ability to trade real community ministry for programs that atract church hoppers and marginalized Christian, but that's irrelevant. What really matters is that we propagate our vision in every way possible. God will be on our side, so everyone else should either join us or just struggle until the fade into oblivion.

People will ask us why we are starting a new campus right between three church plants that are struggling to get off the ground, but we’ll just tell them that God is on our side. If we run into a church that we believe will be competition we’ll just offer their pastor a staff position and then take over their building. It’s easy!

Then, once we’ve grown our “church” to the point of international prominence, and we’re known as the fast growing church in the country, we’ll address the fact that the vast majority of our growth is a result of church hoppers, and that our conversion rate is embarrassing. To justify all this we’ll claim that Christians need to be ministered (which of course is true), and that if the existing church were ministering to the people they wouldn’t want switch churches. It’s fool proof.

What do you think?

1 comment:

Rachel said...

It sounds unfortunately true to life.

(Thanks for the comment. I was just wondering yesterday whatever became of you.)

A friend of mine just moved to Seattle to attend Mars Hill grad school. You should check out his blog...he's incredibly talented in the way of writing and photography.

www.thelongbrake.com/blog

Hope this finds you well, Josh!